IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Recently, many researchers have predicted that environment, population, and
education
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 are going to be the top problems for many nations around the globe, including my country:
Indonesia
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. As one of the third-world nations, we are still busy fighting the disparity between the capital land Jawa and other areas, especially in
education
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. I personally believe community-based mentoring movement led by local-born individuals will reduce the gaps. In
this
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 essay, I shall explain these points with my personal experience. Based on the 2024
Indonesia
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 statistic of human development index, there is 10 10-year gap between
mainland
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 citizens compared to other islands in
Indonesia
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.
This
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 disparity is caused by years of centralized development policy regulated by the government. Previously, I faced
this
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 problem first-hand when got accepted to the best engineering school on the
mainland
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.
First,
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I was the sole student from my area.
Additionally
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, in the early semesters, even as the smartest student in my village, I was struggling to follow the lecture , unlike my friends who were coming from the
mainland
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 cities. Looking back on that bad experience, I don't want anyone to feel the same way again. I
finally
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 started a community-based mentoring program
last
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 year in the hope of bridging students from outer islands to the
mainland
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's
education
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 quality.
While
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 the impact is trivia, I believe that by scaling it to other locations in
Indonesia
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, local-born individuals like me could help to decrease the
education
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 gap and open more opportunities for the rural areas to grow.
To conclude
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, the unjust distribution of
education
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 levels in
Indonesia
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 could be tackled if many lucky and educated local-born individuals decide to get back home and help directly in developing their areas.
Furthermore
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, government support is going to be a game changer for us to achieve more with less.

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Content Organization
Make sure to clearly outline the main challenges faced by your country in the introduction to provide a strong base for your essay.
Lexical Resource
Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices and synonyms to avoid repetition and enhance the logical flow of your ideas.
Supporting Details
To further support your main points, expand on examples and include additional evidence or statistics where possible.
Grammar
Be cautious of grammatical errors and proofread your essay to ensure sentence structure and verb tenses are correct.
Sentence Variety
Consider varying your sentence structures more to create a more engaging and sophisticated writing style.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Ecosystem
  • Renewable resources
  • Urbanization
  • Demographics
  • Healthcare system
  • Pension crisis
  • Curriculum development
  • Digital literacy
  • E-learning platforms
  • Lifelong learning
  • Public policy
  • Biodiversity conservation
  • Green technology
  • Population density
  • Generational equity
  • Economic disparity
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