Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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One school of thought

instead

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of watching the event on television, watching a live performance is more enjoyable. The writer of

this

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essay strongly agrees with

this

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notion as not only

atmosphere

Use synonyms

and immersion but

also

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supporting

artists

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and

athletes

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. The first aspect to consider is the unparalleled

atmosphere

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of live performances.

Firstly

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, attending a live performance offers a unique

atmosphere

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and a sense of immersion that can not be replaced by watching it on television.

Moreover

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, the energy of the crowd and being in the presence of the performers or

athletes

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enhances the

overall

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experience.

For example

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, at football matches, most

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apply

show examples

spectators want to watch in person at

stadium

Add an article

the stadium

show examples

instead

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of watching

throughout

Change preposition

through

show examples

Correct article usage

the televison

show examples

televison

Correct your spelling

television

which

not

Add a missing verb

does not

show examples

bring collective energy

for

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show examples

the viewers.

Secondly

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, watching a live performance

also

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supports

artists

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and

athletes

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. To explain

further

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, attending live events directly supports the

artists

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athletes

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, and performers financially and emotionally, showing appreciation for their work in a way that watching on TV does not.

For instance

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, watching live at some concerts can support the singer by creating a vibrant

atmosphere

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and

then

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artists

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will have more motivation to perform. In conclusion, I completely agree that live performances provide a superior experience to that of their televised counterparts. The unique

atmosphere

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and supporting

artists

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and

athletes

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Correct your spelling

show examples

live events create a compelling and unforgettable enjoyment that television viewing can not replicate.

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coherence cohesion

The introduction is effective but can be improved by rephrasing to enhance clarity. For instance, 'The writer of this essay strongly agrees...' can be changed to 'This essay strongly agrees...'.

coherence cohesion

The body paragraphs should have a clearer structure. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea of the paragraph.

task achievement

Provide more detailed reasons and examples to strengthen the arguments presented. For example, how does the atmosphere of a live performance enhance enjoyment compared to a televised one?

coherence cohesion

Try to use a variety of sentence structures to improve the overall flow of the essay. This can help to make your points more engaging and easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is generally effective, it would benefit from more varied vocabulary to convey ideas more precisely and vividly.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear stance and directly addresses the prompt, which is a strong point.

supported main points

The points made are relevant and support the main argument effectively.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reiterates the author’s agreement with the prompt.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

230 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

live performance
unique and energetic
sense of community
screen
editing
post-production
authentic experience
convenience
visibility
real-time commentary
expert analysis
understanding and appreciation
prohibitive
accessible option
wider audiences

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Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some people think importing foreign movies and TV programs is good for a country's culture. Others believe it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

With all the troubles in the world today, money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that studing at university or college is the best rout so sussessful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.