Some people think that students benefit greatly from going to private secondary schools, but others assert that private secondary schools have a negative impact on the young generation and the society alike. Discuss both views.
There are different views regarding the decision of
students
to continue their education
journey in public or private secondary school. While
some people argue that there are superior advantages to learning at private institutions, the critics predict more negative impacts that will be caused by them to the youth and community in general. This
essay will see from both points of view.
On one hand, private school is a business-oriented venture. While
having great visions in education
, they mostly put revenue as one of the top priorities on their mind. This
condition also
pushes them to keep giving the best quality services, to attract more talent which translates into more economic value. Furthermore
, students
who are admitted to private schools
are certified to get the best education
level compared to the public schools
and are predicted to be able to get into the top universities like Ivy League colleges more easily.
On the other hand
, the union of business mindset and great quality creates economic barriers around private institutions. Only limited rich families could afford to send their children to these schools
without a scholarship. With a specific type of group of individuals, it builds a reality bubble where they would not be able to see the actual reality around them. It is proven by many papers that students
from private institutions are not sensitive to the problems in the society around them, like economic disparities.
To conclude
, while
learning at private schools
will benefit students
with a high level of education
and a great chance to land a better university, there are risks for them to be individualistic and don't care about the community around them. I personally believe, that if private schools
can burst that perceived rich people's bubble, the disadvantages will all fall away.Submitted by gurunnevada on
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Task Achievement
For Task Achievement, ensure your essay covers all parts of the task. Aiming for a balanced discussion of both views with clear, relevant examples will strengthen your argument. Consider adding more specific evidence to better support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, strive to link your ideas more fluidly. Use a variety of cohesive devices and topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument. Transition words should be varied to show contrasts and comparisons clearly.
Introduction and Conclusion
To enhance the Introduction and Conclusion, make sure you clearly state your thesis and summarize key points. Each should have a distinct purpose: the introduction to outline your essay and the conclusion to summarize and restate your position.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.