Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that thia would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

While
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some
people
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suggest that the more
sports
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facilities are built , the better public
health
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may be, others argue that by only increasing the amount of infrastructure alone is not enough.
Overall
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, I believe that it takes both easier accessibility and active education to improve the general public's
health
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. On the one hand, increasing the number of
sports
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fields or gyms can surely encourage
people
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to exercise more. By offering easy access to
sports
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facilities, sportsmen would be more motivated
due to
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less cost of time and money during commuting.
Additionally
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, more
sports
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centres
indicates
Correct subject-verb agreement
indicate
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more options for sportspeople to choose from. Facility users can switch places depending on what they need without
limited
Verb problem
being limited
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equipment
Change preposition
to equipment
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.
For example
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, residents in Taipei do various exercises in a wide range of different places, from working out in gyms to tracking in stadiums.
On the other hand
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, simply introducing more facilities is not enough since the general public
also
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needs a reason to start using them. Governments should promote the benefits of maintaining a healthy exercise routine
as well as
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the downsides of living without it, raising awareness among
people
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.
For instance
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, schools should be responsible for teaching students the consequences of neglecting their
health
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,
such
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as diabetes, dementia, or cardiovascular diseases.
In addition
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, hospitals and medical centres should
also
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encourage their patients to exercise regularly to prevent future complications. In conclusion,
although
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increasing access no
dobut
Correct your spelling
doubt
is a great approach for improving public
health
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, I believe combining other methods, offering basic facts for
people
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to reflect on their current lifestyle, is more effective.

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content
Make the ideas longer and give clear reasons for each point. tie the point to the view you end with.
structure
Use clear links to move from one idea to the next. Start a new paragraph for a new idea and use word like 'also', 'but', 'so','therefore'.
structure
Make the start short and say what you think. End with a short restate of your view.
content
Use better and more real examples that fit the point you make in that part.
language
Check small spell and form of words, like 'no dobut' should be 'no doubt'.
structure
The essay has a clear view in the opening and closing.
content
There are points on both sides of the topic.
content
A real example from a city is given to show one side.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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