Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe marketing is a crucial strategy for selling products,

while

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others feel that commercials have become not so effective.

This

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essay discusses both sides of

this

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argument and explains why I believe advertising is still important to business. A few think it is important to advertise products for good sales results. The first reason is that nowadays, people often follow at least a couple of influencers on social

media

Use synonyms

As a result

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, their followers will be more likely to purchase the item they are recommending, since they trust their opinion.

For instance

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, my sister is keen on buying new skincare creams just because she has seen a celebrity talking about them on Instagram. Another reason, it can trigger the fear of missing out.

According to

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recent psychological studies on humans, we are often scared of being left out because

this

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can possibly threaten our well-being, whether physically or socially.

However

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, others feel that advertising is not as effective as it used to be.

This

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might be

due to

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too much unrelevant content in the

media

Use synonyms

This

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is because anyone can pay a fee to have their business advertised on the internet.

As a consequence

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, one's product can be lost in the middle of social

media

Use synonyms

's ads frenzy and not perform as expected.

Moreover

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, there are usually too many competitor companies.

Therefore

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, it has become more challenging to stand out to possible clients since they might be already interested in a similar item from a cheaper brand. In conclusion, I believe both sides of the argument have merits.

However

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overall

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, I think that the advantages of being advertised by social

media

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influencers and the fear of missing out phenomenon outweigh the downsides of the crowded advertising vehicles and having too many similar brands in the market.

Furthermore

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, in my opinion, business competition problems can be minimized by having a high-quality innovative product and excellent customer service.

amandacflago23Tue Mar 19 2024

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task achievement

Ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction to directly address the essay prompt and outline your essay's structure.

task achievement

Develop your main body paragraphs more extensively by providing more detailed examples and explanations to support your arguments.

coherence & cohesion

Make use of a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively, and ensure paragraphing is clear throughout your essay.

task achievement

Consider a more balanced discussion by allocating equal development to both views before presenting your own opinion. This helps in addressing the prompt fully and demonstrating a well-considered argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

persuade
promote
attract
influence
impact
consumerism
commercialism
market
product
brand
endorsement
manipulative
saturated
overwhelmed
repetitive
distracting
irrelevant
exaggerated
misleading
desensitized

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that children should begin formal learning at school as young as possible. However, others feel that children should not begin school until they are at least seven years old. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

MENU Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your opinion.

It is observed that communication between family members in today's time is less as compared to the past. However, some people do not think so. Do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion!