In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays
a
general proportion of elderly Correct article usage
the
people
in societies is constantly increasing. Many are of the opinion that this
tendency is highly beneficial; however
, some argue that an agening
Correct your spelling
ageing
population
is problematic for governments. This
essay will discuss how the benefits of elderly
Correct article usage
an elderly
society
clearly outweighs
its drawbacks.
On the one hand, some might consider that seniors are the source of local traditions, so they are much needed in Change the verb form
outweigh
a
Correct article usage
apply
society
. That is
to say, older people
are usually those who pay a lot of attention to the
specific customs, and they can ensure Correct article usage
apply
cultivation
of them. Add an article
the cultivation
For example
, there is a renowned event in London, during which elderly citizens
tell teenagers stories about the history and culture of the United Kingdom. Therefore
, a great number of older people
in a society
can enhance preservation
of local heritage.
Despite Correct article usage
the preservation
this
single positive aspect, there are several disadvantages of an ageing population
. Firstly
, seniors pose a problem for health care systems. In other words
, elderly people
usually suffer from numerous diseases, so governements
have to invest a huge amount of money into facilities for their recovery. Evidence for that was provided in the recent WHO research, which indicated that a majority of the healthcare systems' funds Correct your spelling
governments
is
allocated Correct subject-verb agreement
are
into
medicines for elderly Change preposition
to
citizens
. Moreover
, predominance
of elderly Add an article
the predominance
a predominance
people
in a society
cause
an increase Change the verb form
causes
of
taxes for the remaining Change preposition
in
citizens
. This
is because younger residents have to cover the costs of retirements
, a number of which is rising simultaneously Fix the agreement mistake
retirement
to
the number of seniors in a country. Change preposition
with
Thus
, it is evident that an agening
Correct your spelling
ageing
population
cause problems not only for the governments,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
for the rest of a
Remove the article
apply
society
.
To conclude
, although
elderly people
can contribute to the conituation
of Correct your spelling
continuation
a
native culture, they are undeniably problematic for societies. Not only do they burden health care systems, but they Remove the article
apply
also
oblige younger citizens
to pay higher taxes. Therefore
, I maintain that the negative aspects of ageing
Add an article
the ageing
population
have the edge over its potential benefits.Submitted by gabadlugo on
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task achievement
The essay presents a discussion of advantages and disadvantages which shows an understanding of the question, but the argument could be more balanced to improve your task achievement score. Consider providing an equal number of points for both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure there is a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relates to the main argument. Additionally, make sure to use a range of linking words and cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
While there are specific examples given, such as the event in London and the WHO research, offer more detailed and elaborated examples to bolster each point. Furthermore, these examples should be directly relevant to the overall argument you are making.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...