It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

People have different perspectives about whether to take

risks

or not in their lives.

While

some of them suggest taking a step back, I consider that there are more benefits than drawbacks when speaking of taking

risks

Risks

represent the possibility of uncertainty, which I think is the reason that some people choose to maintain their original lifestyle. Take professional life

for example

, we may take

risks

in order to get a promotion, but we are afraid of failure or loss if we don’t succeed in the end, causing it to be a waste of time. As for taking

risks

for a better personal life, you may lose relationships

such

as friends or partners or even family

due to

having a difference of opinion.

However

, there are still plenty of advantages to induce people to take

risks

even though they might suffer a hard time. First of all, taking

risks

paves the way for success or more opportunities, whether it is getting a promotion, raising a salary, or studying abroad.

In addition

, taking

risks

is a good way to take a step out of your comfort zone. You may face challenges when you get into a new field, but you

also

gain experiences that you do not have before and broaden your horizons.

Furthermore

, you get to know more about yourself, since acknowledging your strengths and

weakness

Fix the agreement mistake

weaknesses

show examples

during the period, and realizing what you cherish the most. Summing up the ideas, I believe that “ No pain, no gain.”

Although

taking

risks

seems dangerous, it benefits more in both our professional and personal lives.

Submitted by J.C.Li.1997.11 on Tue Jan 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the transition between ideas is smooth, using a variety of linking words. Adding more complex structures can help with logical structuring and improve coherence.

task achievement

To improve task achievement, make sure to address all parts of the prompt clearly in your essay and provide specific examples to support your arguments for a more compelling response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology In what ways has technology affected the types of relationship people make Has this become a positive or negative development?

Some international companies are very powerful now and many people believe that it is a negative development. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your reasons and relevant examples.

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that international sporting events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the hosting nation. Others believe that these events are a large unjustifiable expense. To what extent do you agree or disagree?