Some people believe that sending criminals to prison is ineffective. Instead, vocational education and training should be used. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In several nations, imprisonment is witnessed as a better solution to deter crimes, but other people strongly advocate that education systems and job training are needed to prevent lawless cases. I partly agree with both viewpoints. The following paragraphs

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

highlight my personal perspective. On the one hand, proper education and training systems for crime cases play vital roles in changing a person's

mindsets

Fix the agreement mistake

mindset

show examples

and behaviours which affects their morals and values. From that, wrongdoers will have a chance to remake their lives and plan for their future.

As a consequence

Linking Words

, learning enlightens their

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

as they will able to earn respect from society.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

suitable

Add an article

a suitable

show examples

punishment for minor cases

such

Linking Words

as shoplifting and pickpocketing. It can encourage crooks to get through their past and move to a better future.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I

also

Linking Words

cannot deny the efficiency that imprisonment brings to us. Incarceration is a great way to deter citizen who breaks the law. Especially for the crimes who join in corporate fraud, embezzlement or money

laudering

Correct your spelling

laundering

. Even though they have outstanding performances and the skill proficiency to earn money, they still are greedy.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they do not need to be educated as they already are, they need to be sent to jail to understand the consequences of their crimes. In conclusion, I partly agree that quality education is needed to encourage lawful behaviours.

This

Linking Words

is because it does not make sense to educate individuals who are already educated. Deterrence and strong punishment are needed for

this

Linking Words

case.

okookk123456Tue Jan 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Provide concrete examples to support your arguments. This could involve citing specific rehabilitation programs or recidivism statistics for those who receive vocational education as opposed to prison sentences.

Task Achievement

While your essay shows a good understanding of the topic, consider exploring the nuances of the argument more deeply, discussing further why vocational training might work only for certain crimes or criminals.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs with the use of cohesive devices, which can help to more clearly mark your arguments and lead the reader through your line of reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion

In the introduction and conclusion, strive to paraphrase the question and your thesis statement more effectively to show a wide range of vocabulary and sentence structures.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on varying the structure of your sentences throughout the essay. This will create more rhythm and make the text more interesting to read.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent times, it is usually believed that friendships that take place online might not be meaningful compared to friendships where people meet each other face to face. In my opinion, I completely agree with this point of view.
7.5
band
News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news, and would it be better if more good news was reported?
It is true that editors have to make difficult decisions about which news stories they broadcast or publish, and their choices are no doubt influenced by a variety of factors. In my opinion, we are exposed with too much bad news, and I would welcome a greater emphasis on good news.
7.5
band
Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a 'gap year'; before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is claimed that some students take a gap year to travel from graduation from school or university, before a new important chapter in their life. However, others believe it is just a waste of time, so more effective would be not to miss 12 months and start studying or working straight away. From my point of view, the first option is a great opportunity to get to know yourself and understand what you really want in this life.
6
band
Some people think that individuals are becoming more dependent on each other in modern society, while others believe that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some argue that people are increasingly reliant on each other, while others contend that there is a growing trend towards individual autonomy. Despite authentic logic on both perspectives, I believe that increase in interpersonal relationships in modern society is incontrovertible. Notwithstanding collaboration and mutual support are integral to societal cohesion, individual autonomy and self-reliance are equally vital for personal empowerment and growth.
6
band
In some countries, only few young people go to classic music concerts or play classing music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?
It is stated that in some nations, there is a small number of youngsters who attend classical opera concerts and have an interest in learning this genre of melody. While, it is beneficial that youth should be motivated to have classical music, their preference. In this essay, it is proven that what are the reasons why to motivate them.

Some people believe that sending criminals to prison is ineffective. Instead, vocational education and training should be used. Do you agree or disagree?

Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news, and would it be better if more good news was reported?

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a 'gap year'; before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that individuals are becoming more dependent on each other in modern society, while others believe that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, only few young people go to classic music concerts or play classing music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?