Some people believe that sending criminals to prison is ineffective. Instead, vocational education and training should be used. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #prison #education

In several nations, imprisonment is witnessed as a better solution to deter crimes, but other people strongly advocate that education systems and job training are needed to prevent lawless cases. I partly agree with both viewpoints. The following paragraphs

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

highlight my personal perspective. On the one hand, proper education and training systems for crime cases play vital roles in changing a person's

mindsets

Fix the agreement mistake

mindset

show examples

and behaviours which affects their morals and values. From that, wrongdoers will have a chance to remake their lives and plan for their future.

As a consequence

, learning enlightens their

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

as they will able to earn respect from society.

In addition

this

suitable

Add an article

a suitable

show examples

punishment for minor cases

such

as shoplifting and pickpocketing. It can encourage crooks to get through their past and move to a better future.

On the other hand

, I

also

cannot deny the efficiency that imprisonment brings to us. Incarceration is a great way to deter citizen who breaks the law. Especially for the crimes who join in corporate fraud, embezzlement or money

laudering

Correct your spelling

laundering

. Even though they have outstanding performances and the skill proficiency to earn money, they still are greedy.

Therefore

, they do not need to be educated as they already are, they need to be sent to jail to understand the consequences of their crimes. In conclusion, I partly agree that quality education is needed to encourage lawful behaviours.

This

is because it does not make sense to educate individuals who are already educated. Deterrence and strong punishment are needed for

this

case.

Submitted by okookk123456 on Tue Jan 23 2024

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Task Achievement

Provide concrete examples to support your arguments. This could involve citing specific rehabilitation programs or recidivism statistics for those who receive vocational education as opposed to prison sentences.

Task Achievement

While your essay shows a good understanding of the topic, consider exploring the nuances of the argument more deeply, discussing further why vocational training might work only for certain crimes or criminals.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs with the use of cohesive devices, which can help to more clearly mark your arguments and lead the reader through your line of reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion

In the introduction and conclusion, strive to paraphrase the question and your thesis statement more effectively to show a wide range of vocabulary and sentence structures.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on varying the structure of your sentences throughout the essay. This will create more rhythm and make the text more interesting to read.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that sending criminals to prison is ineffective. Instead, vocational education and training should be used. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many healthy problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Government investment in the arsts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. Discuss both the views and views and give opinion.

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important and too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The line graph compares the employment rate in the USA and how this rate changes over the course of 8 decades starting from 1930.