Some people believe that sending criminals to prison is ineffective. Instead, vocational education and training should be used. Do you agree or disagree?
In several nations, imprisonment is witnessed as a better solution to deter crimes, but other people strongly advocate that education systems and job training are needed to prevent lawless cases. I partly agree with both viewpoints. The following paragraphs
would
highlight my personal perspective.
On the one hand, proper education and training systems for crime cases play vital roles in changing a person's Wrong verb form
will
mindsets
and behaviours which affects their morals and values. From that, wrongdoers will have a chance to remake their lives and plan for their future. Fix the agreement mistake
mindset
As a consequence
, learning enlightens their live
as they will able to earn respect from society. Replace the word
lives
In addition
, this
is suitable
punishment for minor cases Add an article
a suitable
such
as shoplifting and pickpocketing. It can encourage crooks to get through their past and move to a better future.
On the other hand
, I also
cannot deny the efficiency that imprisonment brings to us. Incarceration is a great way to deter citizen who breaks the law. Especially for the crimes who join in corporate fraud, embezzlement or money laudering
. Even though they have outstanding performances and the skill proficiency to earn money, they still are greedy. Correct your spelling
laundering
Therefore
, they do not need to be educated as they already are, they need to be sent to jail to understand the consequences of their crimes.
In conclusion, I partly agree that quality education is needed to encourage lawful behaviours. This
is because it does not make sense to educate individuals who are already educated. Deterrence and strong punishment are needed for this
case.Submitted by okookk123456 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Provide concrete examples to support your arguments. This could involve citing specific rehabilitation programs or recidivism statistics for those who receive vocational education as opposed to prison sentences.
Task Achievement
While your essay shows a good understanding of the topic, consider exploring the nuances of the argument more deeply, discussing further why vocational training might work only for certain crimes or criminals.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs with the use of cohesive devices, which can help to more clearly mark your arguments and lead the reader through your line of reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
In the introduction and conclusion, strive to paraphrase the question and your thesis statement more effectively to show a wide range of vocabulary and sentence structures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on varying the structure of your sentences throughout the essay. This will create more rhythm and make the text more interesting to read.