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Band 7

nowadays, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. why. what can be done to tackle this?

#quality #life #cities
In recent years, the living quality in metropolitan
areas
 witnessed a downturn. The fundamental cause behind
this
 phenomenon stems from overpopulation in urban
areas
, which can be solved by developing satellite cities. The most noticeable factor is that a large amount of citizens living in a particular zone might precipitate a deleterious effect on the living conditions.
This
 is because overpopulation is synonymous with excessive use of goods, which
then
 are thrown into the river.
Moreover
,
this
 kind of waste requires a long time to dispose of and exacerbates the contamination in cities.
As a result
, residents find it difficult to live in urban
areas
 and have many issues associated with their health, especially respiratory distress. In order to alleviate the population explosion, the government should invest more money infrastructure of rural
areas
 around the cities.
Due to
 the fact that people show more interest in settling down in commercial hubs for job prospects. To encourage them to immigrate to the countryside, authorities might subsidize local councils to enhance the transport system
such
 as bullet trains and highways. By implementing
this
 method, the time for commuting is shortened, resulting in hearting people leaving the city, but still having an occupation in the metropolis. In conclusion, the decrease in living standards derives from a high rate of population, which can be tackled by building more facilities in the countryside to encourage citizens to settle down there.
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coherence cohesion
Try to integrate a wider variety of sentence structures to enhance the readability and interest of your essay.
task achievement
Consider expanding upon the examples given by providing more in-depth analysis or additional evidence to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Use a mix of general and specific vocabulary to precisely convey your ideas. Include synonyms to avoid repetition and demonstrate a broad lexical resource.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully developed a logical structure throughout the essay, making your argument easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate your main arguments and can engage the reader.
task achievement
You have responded to the task with relevant points and supported them with appropriate examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overpopulation
  • Strained resources
  • Commute times
  • Economic stress
  • Community events
  • Affordable housing
  • Environmental regulations
  • Green spaces
  • Urban environments
  • Socialize
  • Foster
  • Tackle
  • Strategies
  • Implementing
  • Pollution
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