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Writing Samples
Band 7

The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society?

#dangers #people #habit #society
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The detrimental nature of smoking
behavior
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behaviour
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 is widely acknowledged, persisting in both workplaces and educational institutions.
This
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 phenomenon arises from the prevalent belief that certain chemical components in
tobacco
Use synonyms
,
such
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 as nicotine, aid in stress reduction among employees.
Furthermore
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, insufficient parental oversight, particularly in the daily school environment and their children's social relationships, contributes to the proliferation of smoking habits over time. Various measures can be taken to address the causes and reduce smoking prevalence in society. One effective approach involves imposing additional taxes on the
tobacco
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 industry. By doing so,
tobacco
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 products would become less economically accessible relative to workers' incomes, potentially mitigating the smoking habit.
This
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 measure might prompt individuals to consider more economical alternatives,
such
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 as engaging in outdoor activities or enjoying palatable meals, thereby diverting their focus from smoking.
Additionally
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, extensive campaigns on the dangers of smoking can play a crucial role in preventing the emergence of smoking habits. These campaigns should be widespread, targeting both workplaces and educational institutions.
Such
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 initiatives not only educate individuals about the health hazards associated with smoking but
also
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 aim to create a collective awareness that contributes to a smoke-free environment. In conclusion, the prevalence of smoking is on the rise
due to
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 the belief in stress reduction attributed to certain chemical components in
tobacco
Use synonyms
 and insufficient parental oversight. To counter these issues, measures
such
Linking Words
 as imposing additional taxes on the
tobacco
Use synonyms
 industry and conducting extensive campaigns can be implemented. These efforts collectively aim to reduce smoking consumption among the workforce and enhance parental control over their children, fostering a healthier and smoke-free society
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay follows a clear logical structure, using paragraphs effectively to separate ideas. Transition words and phrases should be used to link sentences and paragraphs, allowing the reader to follow your argument more easily. Avoid unnecessary repetition and aim to develop your main points more fully with a variety of connecting expressions.
task achievement
For better task achievement, ensure that you fully answer all parts of the question with developed arguments. It's important to relate your response directly to the question prompt and offer specific examples to support your points. Avoid general statements and aim to provide more detailed elaboration on the causes of smoking and the solutions to reduce it, such as citing studies or statistics where possible.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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