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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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In some nations, young ones are told to
work
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 hard in order to achieve anything they wish. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of adopting
such
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 a mindset when dealing with
children
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. On the one hand, if we looked closely at the meaning behind that message, we would see that it aims to emphasize and encourage the
work
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 and effort made by a child
instead
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 of his/her inherited traits.
In other words
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, by adopting
this
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 notion, equal opportunities will be given to the gifted and average youngsters, removing any difference among them and resulting in greater accomplishments.
For instance
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, studies have shown that on doing several tasks,
children
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 who were praised for their effort showed a greater ability to
work
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 and push themselves, discovering where their limit lies, than those who were praised for their intelligence, as they choose to only accept tasks that they thought their limitations lie within.
On the other hand
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, we must not forget that they are just
children
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.
Thus
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 making them feel that their value is dependent on the amount of achievements they accomplish would likely lower their self-esteem and act as a pressuring force. on them.
This
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 will result in reduced play and leisure time, which will negatively affect the development of their well-being. To illustrate, unlike the increased demand for excessive
work
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due to
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 high academic pressure and competitiveness put on young learners, it has been proven that playing is essential in building certain skills
such
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 as creativity, writing, and imagination.
For example
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, research done by a number of professionals has shown that preschoolers who play with dolls regularly have higher storytelling and writing skills.
Therefore
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, if
children
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 overwork themselves, they will not ideally become better but will underdevelop in many other aspects. In conclusion, despite the fact that stating that with hard
work
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 everything is achievable, pressuring young ones to overwork themselves will not mean greater accomplishments but might negatively affect their
overall
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 ability to endure certain skills.

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task response
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to outline your main arguments. This will enhance the reader's understanding of your essay's direction.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and supports it with relevant examples. This will make your argumentation stronger.
task response
The essay effectively identifies both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing balance in your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear start and finish to the discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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