In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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It is argued that

instead

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of renting a

place

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to live, many

people

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prefer to own a

home

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. In my opinion, a

home

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lets

people

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create their own safe

place

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thus

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, I believe brings major benefits for those who are unable to own a

home

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To begin

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with, many

people

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choose to live in a

home

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since it provides broader facilities to be constructed with, later on, to be used. Unlike renting a building in which all the facilities already exist, a private

place

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allows the owner to be imaginative in the way they design every room and its occasion.

Additionally

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home

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allows

people

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especially families to acquire a private life, where they can independently organize every room.

For example

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, before marriage, many young

people

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initially

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lived in an apartment

while

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working. Once they married and had kids, they decided to buy a house where they could build up the connection and plan the future. In a term of the benefits of the aforementioned situation, I believe that it creates a positive impact for those who are interested in renting a

place

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Additionally

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, the availability of various flats or apartments

also

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has been affected by

this

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phenomenon, which leads the agent to reduce the cost of the price.

Consequently

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, many

people

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are able to provide one at an affordable price.

For instance

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, numerous apartments in Bandung only cost around 3 million rupiah since not only the citizens but immigrants

also

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preferred to build a house in the suburban areas of Bandung. In conclusion,

people

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choose to live in a

home

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because it allows them to get larger amenities. Other than that,

this

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situation

also

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helps those who are unfortunate enough to own one, to rent their

place

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at a much cheaper price.

talithanakhwah19Wed Jan 24 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that both parts of the prompt are addressed equally. While you covered why homeownership is important, the discussion on whether this is a positive or negative situation needs to be more developed. Include specific examples and reasons for your position.

Coherence and Cohesion

While the essay shows good coherence and logical structure overall, make more use of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together. Creating smoother transitions between points will increase the readability and cohesion of your essay.

Task Achievement

To support your main points, incorporate a wider range of relevant, specific examples. Concrete examples bring your arguments to life and make them more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure consistent accuracy in grammar and varied sentence structures to improve the overall fluency of the essay. This aspect is important for showing language proficiency.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that living in big cities is becoming more difficult. Others say that it is getting easier. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

These days, many countries show interest in space exploration. What are the advantages and disadvantages of space exploration?

Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?