In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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In several countries, bought a new
home
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can show advantages and disadvantages for some people.
Moreover
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, renting a
home
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it's can be positive or negative situation. These viewpoints will discussed below. On the one hand, owning their
house
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is a grateful things. They can buy their own
house
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from their hard-work earnings.
This
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is a biggest achievement for them because they
finally
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not have to worry about
rent
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cost
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again.
For instance
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, they not need to divide their earns to
rent
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cost
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for several months or year.
However
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, they can save their
money
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for few years, so from that savings they can buy a new
home
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.
In addition
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, owning a
house
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in countries is investment.
Due to
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this
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era,
house
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price become so more expensive throughout the years.One day they can be able to sell
this
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home
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more higher than first price.
Therefore
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, the majority of folks cannot afford
rent
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cost
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and they think it can be investments throughout the years if buy a new
home
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.
On the other hand
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, society likes to
rent
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house
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than owning their
house
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. In some countries, if they live in
rent
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house
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they have to ask permission every-time.
For example
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, they want to decorate their bedroom with wallpaper, they have to ask permission to their host
house
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.
This
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can be annoying if the owner can't be cooperative.
Besides
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that, they have many things that more important, so they have to save their
money
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. So, they didn't have
money
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to buy a new
home
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by their own
money
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. The urgent things like hospitality
cost
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or others . In conclusion , two view have their own positive or negative situation. For me, it's a positive situation to owning their
house
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because that can make them feel proud with themselves because can reach
this
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big achievement that happens to their life.
Submitted by hai on

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task response
The essay does not entirely address the prompt fully as there is a reiteration of the advantages of owning a home but lacks depth in comparing why it might be deemed a positive or negative situation. To improve the task achievement score, you should clearly state your position and ensure that you address all parts of the task. Support your ideas with specific examples and fully develop your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The coherence and cohesion of the essay can be significantly improved. Focus on organizing your points logically, maintaining a clear progression of ideas. Use cohesive devices appropriately, and make sure each paragraph is centered around a single main idea with well-developed supporting sentences. Employ a variety of linking words and establish clear relationships between sentences and paragraphs to enhance readability.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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