When children start school , teachers have more influence than parents on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Parents and
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers

It seems that teacher may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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have
major
Add an article
a major

The noun phrase major influence seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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influence
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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children
Change noun form
children's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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growth
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their intellectual and social portion, especially when school season
is start
Change the verb form
starts

It appears that the form of the verb start does not work with is in this sentence.

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. From my perspective, I disagree
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers

It seems that teacher may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
have more impact,
on the
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

contrary
Add the comma(s)
contrary,

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter on the contrary. Consider adding the comma(s).

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the father and mother have more effect on the development around 60%. Children have tendencies to copy
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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what their parents do, who
they
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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friends are and how they behave. If they have a good supporting family with
strong
Add an article
a strong

The noun phrase strong bond seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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bond as well
good
Correct word choice
as good

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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communication with each other, usually the kid will have a good personality and great confidence.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
youngster
Add an article
the youngster
a youngster

The noun phrase youngster seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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will have more courage to find the answer
of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their problems without
have
Change the verb form
having

The verb have may be in the wrong form after the preposition without. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

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a fear of wrong and always have their family for
back up
Correct your spelling
backup

The word back up seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, with
non functional
Add a hyphen
non-functional

It appears that non functional is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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family more likely their offspring will have a bad personality because they don't have
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures

It seems that figure may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to guide them
of
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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how
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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society works. Usually, they will find
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

benchmark in
other person
Change the wording
another person
other people

The adjective other appears to be modifying the singular noun person. Consider making a change.

show examples
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as friends,
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers

It seems that teacher may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
and public
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures

It seems that figure may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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but sometimes they will choose
a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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wrong person to become their reference. The other 40% of influence came from outside of the family, especially
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers

It seems that teacher may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
. A good
teacher
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will help their students in their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies

It seems that study may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and help them prepare for
academic
Add an article
the academic
an academic

The noun phrase academic test seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests

It seems that test may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

however
Add a comma
however,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase however. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
they will not involved enough in
the
Change the word
their

The word the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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social life because they need to take care
1
Change preposition
of 1

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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whole class.
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
Teachers

It seems that Teacher may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
cannot choose or make them do anything that they think is good or fit, it's all the
students
Change noun form
student's
students'

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility

If you don’t want responsibilty to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the choices that they make. The
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion

If you don’t want conlusion to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of the statement above is,
family
Correct word choice
that family

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
has become

It appears you have attempted to use the intransitive verb become in a passive voice construction. Consider writing the sentence in the active voice.

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the core development of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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children. The parents have the right to mold their offspring
to
Change preposition
as

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
they see fit until they can think what the best for themself.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance your essay, ensure that your ideas are more logically organized, which includes consistent use of appropriate paragraphs and clear logical progression of ideas. Transition words can help to connect ideas and paragraphs more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clearer introduction and conclusion. The introduction should clearly state your position on the topic, and the conclusion should summarize your main points effectively, reinforcing your initial stance.
coherence cohesion
To support your main points, include more developed ideas and arguments. Expand upon your ideas with more in-depth analysis or discussion to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
While you are responding to the task, aim for a more complete and balanced response. Address the prompt fully by discussing both views (teachers' and parents' influence) before stating your position. Provide a clear, concise argument that logically leads to your conclusion.
task achievement
In your essay, work on presenting clear and comprehensive ideas. Consider creating a more structured approach to discussing points, with a clear topic sentence and concluding sentence for each paragraph.
task achievement
You have included relevant specific examples, which is good. Now, try to link these examples more effectively to the theoretical points you're discussing. Ensure that each example reinforces your argument directly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Structured learning environment
  • Cognitive skills
  • Social interactions
  • Pedagogical techniques
  • Moral values
  • Emotional well-being
  • Complementary roles
  • Academic and social education
  • Individualized attention
  • Life skills training
What to do next:
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