IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #media #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #ability #form #relationships
Some individuals argue that
internet
 platforms, like Facebook or
Twitter
Add the comma(s)
Twitter,
show examples
 have
a bad sides
Correct the article-noun agreement
a bad side
bad sides
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 for the young. Others consider that social media
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 benefit sides to
bring
Wrong verb form
bringing
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people
 together. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 social media has
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
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advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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as well as
 disadvantages. Some nations argue that
internet
 platforms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
negative
Add an article
a negative
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 impact on young generations.
Cause
Correct word choice
Because
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 they can kill their time by watching useless content.
For instance
 by the magazine called "
Times
Add a comma
Times,
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" we are able to know that most of the youngsters in the past
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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 their time
to
Change preposition
apply
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reading
the
Correct article usage
apply
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books and
engage
Wrong verb form
engaging
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 in war games. Nowadays almost 75% of young generations kill their time by surfing the
internet
.
It's
Unnecessary verb
It
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to eye damage.
Another
Replace the adjective
Other
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 nations argue that social media has benefits sides like keeping in touch
people
Change preposition
with people
show examples
 or
find
Wrong verb form
finding
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 some
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 information.
For instance
, by helping
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
people
 are able to
keeping
Change the verb
keep
show examples
 touch with their relatives from
distance
Correct article usage
a distance
show examples
.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 from
magazine
Add an article
a magazine
show examples
 called "News"
people
 are able to know that 40% of the
people
 in the world searching
information
Change preposition
for information
show examples
 for their
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
. And
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 statistics are increasing day by day.
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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introduction
Work on creating a clearer, more engaging introduction that clearly presents the topic and sets the stage for the discussion.
content balance
Develop a balanced discussion by dedicating equal attention to both views before presenting your opinion.
cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively and improve the essay's flow.
conclusion
Include a conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed and clearly states your own stance on the issue.
examples
Use specific, relevant examples to support your points, and try to reference reliable sources to strengthen your arguments.
paragraph structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph relate closely to that idea.
grammar and sentence structure
Revise sentence structures for clarity and accuracy, and correct grammatical errors to make your essay more professional.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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