In some societies, the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishments. To what extent do you agree

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Introduction

Several people feel that the crime rates performed by adolescents

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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increasing, and some societies consider that teenagers who commit

violation

Fix the agreement mistake

violations

show examples

ought to obtain adult punishments regardless of age. I totally agree with

this

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statement because receiving a punishment can make conscious youngsters and have a deterrent effect.

This

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essay will elaborate in detail on the reasons for my stance

as well as

Linking Words

examples in the subsequent paragraph.

Body · 1

To begin

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with, the primary reason is to give consciousness to adolescents. The retribution of an adult is not only giving a penalty, but

also

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this

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apply

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provides rehabilitation.

Therefore

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this

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situation will be able to disenchant young men that they possess many potencies to change.

For instance

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, when they are in rehabilitation processes, they are able to acquire some knowledge, and

this

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activity is able to open their thinking.

Hence

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this

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will be more beneficial for teenagers and

also

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for surrounding people.

Body · 2

Secondly

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, another reason is receiving a deterrent effect on other teenagers who want to commit a similar act. If they know that their friends who perform major infringements, and

that

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apply

show examples

gains

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gain

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sanction, they are able to be afraid to do that action.

For example

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, currently, many adolescents have fought with other people, and if they are caught by police, other young men will be afraid to perform that action.

Conclusion

To sum up

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, receiving adult punishment for youngsters who commit major transgressions can awaken them and give an effect of deterrent to them. I suggest that parents should supply more knowledge and control their children.

Thus

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, their children do not perform a criminal act.

fifi

Jan 25, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow and structure by planning your essay before writing. Have a clear introduction, well-organized body paragraphs, and a conclusion that neatly summarises your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that ideas presented in the essay are logically connected with appropriate use of linking words. Employ cohesive devices effectively to guide the reader from one point to the next.

task achievement

Provide more detailed and concrete examples to support the main points. Specific instances and cases add depth to the argument and make the essay more persuasive.

task achievement

Strive to achieve a balance in developing both sides of the argument, even if you hold a strong opinion. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Work on thoroughly responding to all parts of the question prompt. Make sure that you address the extent of your agreement consistently throughout the essay.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Juvenile delinquency
Rehabilitation
Adolescent development
Impulsive behavior
Criminal justice system
Deterrence
Recidivism
Moral reasoning
Developmental psychology
Restorative justice

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In some societies, the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishments. To what extent do you agree

Today, people in many countries can live and work anywhere they choose, because of improved communication technology and transport. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?

Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel fare in the future. Do you think it is positive or negative development?

In many countries, people increasingly talk about money (How much they earn or how much they paid for things in their daily conversations). Why is this? Is it a positive or negative development?