The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In
this
day and age, Linking Words
people
have adopted certain habits to make life easy Use synonyms
such
as a sedentary lifestyle which has detrimental effects in the near future. I firmly agree with the argument that some transformations are harmful to human Linking Words
health
.
To commence with, there is no denying that at present Use synonyms
people
like to become inactive physically which ultimately affects individual Use synonyms
health
. Use synonyms
For example
, there are increasing disease rates in the world as obesity is one of the major concerns among Linking Words
people
in society. Use synonyms
Secondly
, unhealthy food like fast food, carbohydrate drinks and frozen items has a huge impact on Linking Words
people
's Use synonyms
health
as it deteriorates the immune system and Use synonyms
people
more prone to some life-threatening illnesses Use synonyms
such
as cardiovascular diseases and uncontrolled infections.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, the environment plays a vital role in human Linking Words
health
in the contemporary world, changes in the environment Use synonyms
due to
overpopulation, bottleneck situations on the roads and deforestation have contributed to air pollution which worsens the air quality and Linking Words
people
are under threat of global warming and respiratory diseases and at the future it surged to bad condition. For instance, cutting the plants and lands allocated for buildings or industries will scarcity of natural or organic sources of food. Use synonyms
In addition
, globally Linking Words
people
face chronic pulmonary disease and asthma Use synonyms
due to
carbon emissions.
In conclusion, Linking Words
Although
the living style and adaptation of certain things have jeopardized impact on the community Linking Words
people
's Use synonyms
health
in the future these issues become worse if these are not addressed properly by the country's Use synonyms
people
or the government.Use synonyms
Submitted by seharfazal9 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Your essay presents a clear position and addresses the prompt effectively. However, consider refining your topic sentences to ensure that each paragraph's main point is unmistakably clear from the beginning.
task response
Work on developing your ideas further. Provide more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your argument and make your points more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay is generally well-structured, some of the points need better linkage and flow. Use more varied and sophisticated linking words and phrases to connect your ideas seamlessly.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical progression of your arguments. Ensure each paragraph flows naturally to the next, reinforcing your overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay effectively.
task response
You have addressed a range of points relevant to the topic, showing good understanding of the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are generally well-sized and focused, which helps maintain the reader's interest.