Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Nowadays, more and more

animals

Use synonyms

have become extinct. I firmly believe that

this

Linking Words

notion happened because of both natural conditions and human activity.

This

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essay will examine those reasons deeply and provide some possible solutions. Reasons for animal extinction can be divided into two, encompassing natural disasters and illegal hunting which has been done by humans. Study reveals that there is an increasing number of mountain explosions and

flashfloods

Correct your spelling

flash floods

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in Southeast Asia.

Along with

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this

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, it is evident that some

animals

Use synonyms

that have endangered status like Javanese tigers and Sundanese frogs died because of these phenomena. It is because usually, a natural

disaster

Use synonyms

happens at unpredictable times.

Consequently

Linking Words

, no one else can prevent the

disaster

Use synonyms

by rescuing the

animals

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, illegal hunting can

also

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be a reason for animal extinction. Many people yearn to get

animals

Use synonyms

that have the highest cost for sale in the black market. They do not really care whether

animals

Use synonyms

are in endangered status or not.

However

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

can tackle the problem by having two strict rules. First and foremost, the

government

Use synonyms

should make a new law for endangered

animals

Use synonyms

who live in the risk areas for

disaster

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

animals

Use synonyms

must move into a special zoo that has a free potential

disaster

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. By doing

this

Linking Words

, at least the

government

Use synonyms

has already made a preventive solution to alleviate the problem.

Secondly

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, the

government

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should make a strict rule for those who are doing illegal hunting.

For instance

Linking Words

, the ruler can give severe punishment for illegal hunters. So that, they will not do the same thing again. In conclusion, animal extinction happened because of natural disasters and illegal hunting.

Nevertheless

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, if the

government

Use synonyms

make a proper law, I strongly believe that

this

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problem can be solved effectively.

misstiasclassroomFri Jan 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

It's important to lay out your essay with a clear introduction, logical body paragraphs, and a summarizing conclusion. Make sure all these parts connect smoothly, leading the reader through your argument step by step.

task achievement

Provide clear examples to support your main points. While you've mentioned that Javanese tigers and Sundanese frogs died due to natural disasters, try to enhance your essay with specific instances or data that relate directly to the arguments you're making.

task achievement

To elevate your essay, focus on developing your ideas fully. Flesh out the reasons behind animal extinction and the proposed government measures with more depth and specifics. This will not only make your essay more persuasive but will demonstrate your ability to discuss complex issues thoroughly.

task achievement

Ensure that your examples are as relevant and specific as possible. Rather than general statements, use direct and detailed evidence to illustrate your points about why animals are becoming extinct and how specific solutions can be effective. This specificity will give your essay more authority and persuasiveness.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

species extinction
endangered animals
biodiversity
habitat loss
deforestation
urbanization
poaching
illegal wildlife trade
climate change
pollution
conservation efforts
legislation
enforcement
human overpopulation
sustainable development
responsible consumption
education
awareness programs
protected areas
wildlife reserves
international cooperation
collaboration

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Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some people think young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.