Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The

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majority of governments force male youngsters to serve in the military following high school education. Some people believe

this

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should be implemented globally, with the addition of females.

Although

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serving in the army provides the population with benefits

such

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as the satisfaction of serving

for

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apply

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the

country

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and improved health, making it compulsory may deter youngsters from showing interest. Serving in the military has the main advantage of improved fitness and a feeling of belonging to one's

country

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For example

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, when men fight to protect their

country

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, they will experience immense power and responsibility,

hence

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they continue to work harder to be part of history.

Additionally

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, regular physical training, a strict diet and scheduled sleep patterns promote good health. Making young people serve in the army

therefore

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improves community spirit and the health of the population.

On the other hand

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, when something is made compulsory and forced, people naturally sway away from showing interest and begin to analyse the disadvantages.

As a result

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, not everyone will dedicate themselves fully to serving. They may become distracted during training and concentrate on escaping.

Moreover

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, if everyone joins the military following high school, countries will begin to lack progress in other fields

such

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as science, business and fashion.

Therefore

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, I believe youngsters should be approached and only asked to join if they wish, it is

also

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wise to extend

this

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choice to females.

To conclude

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, serving

for

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apply

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the

country

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is a respectful and rewarding career. It is my opinion that if it remains a choice for the public to join the army, there will be more members who are committed and dedicated.

Mangalakumaran.sangeethaFri May 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay maintains a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, ensuring smooth transitions between points can further improve coherence. For instance, linking sentences within paragraphs and between paragraphs more effectively can contribute to better flow of ideas.

task achievement

The arguments are relevant and cover both sides of the topic. To enhance task achievement, consider providing more varied and specific examples, as well as addressing potential counterarguments in more detail. This will demonstrate deeper engagement with the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure, which makes it easy to follow the writer's arguments. The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.

task achievement

The writer provides a balanced discussion, considering both the positive and negative aspects of compulsory military service. This comprehensive approach shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Compulsory
Military service
Conscription
Patriotism
National security
Social equality
Discipline
Physical fitness
Life skills
Job training
Infringement
Conscripts
Gender equality
Mandatory
Economy
Education system
Labor market
Civil service
Alternative forms
Balanced view

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Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Your opinion

A number of people are moving from rural area to city’s. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?

The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for poor, undeveloped countries, but also for industrialized and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggestion least one possible solution.

Nowadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. This has negative effects on themselves and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?