The table below give information about Favorite Pastimes in different countries.

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The table illustrates the number of favourite pastimes from across generations between 30 and 50 years old in many countries.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that the most favourable

activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity

show examples

that every country has

people

Use synonyms

in each country interested in is reading,

however

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, music is the thing with the least population.

To begin

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with, Reading activities, are the most popular activity of the population from Japan, Korea and China.

Additionally

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, Reading is the only activity by the

people

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from Japan.

Furthermore

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, Hobbies, TV and Sports are the activities that have middle population interest, but France and England don’t have anyone involved.

On the other hand

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, Beach, Sleep and Music have minority

people

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get into that. Sleep and Beach have a small number of fans, but exceptionally from England

people

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like Sleep at 20 points, and Australia and USA at 30.

Thus

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, music has

people

Use synonyms

joining from each country from around 2 until 4, with exceptionally for the USA at 23.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Fri Jan 26 2024

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

160 words

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The table below give information about Favorite Pastimes in different countries.

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks.

Some working parents think that childcare centers provide the best care for children who are still too young to go to school. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport, others argue that people should be free to use their mobiles wherever they like. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

You have read about a scholarship offered by a university and wish to apply. Write a letter to the university and include the following information: the scholarship you wish to apply for some details about yourself your academic suitability for the scholarship and any other relevant information.