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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

People living in large cites today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?

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These days,
individuals
Use synonyms
, who live in megacities, have encountered many challenges and problems in their daily lives.
This
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 essay will outline the underlying reasons
such
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 as pollution, and
also
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 discuss whether governments should encourage
individuals
Use synonyms
 to move to rural areas, to tackle these obstacles. One primary problem for
this
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 phenomenon is pollution. As the number of vehicles has escalated in large cities, large quantities of pollutants are being released into the atmosphere, causing degradation of air quality.
This
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 lack of air quality can spread the incline of respiratory diseases,
such
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 as lung cancer or Asthma.
Additionally
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, another challenge is an increase in the level of crime rate. It is possible that people living in large cities,
such
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 as Tehran, the capital of Iran, are forced by the risk of mugging and robberies.
Consequently
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, residents of megacities not only encounter health issues but
also
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 feel insecure and unsafe. To tackle these challenges, some argue that governments should encourage people to move to smaller regional towns, leading to positive and negative developments. On the positive side,
this
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 shift can mitigate significantly the amount of greenhouse gas emissions and carbon footprint in large cities. On the negative side, moving to suburban areas can result in resource depletion. When the influx of
individuals
Use synonyms
 settles in rural regions, they are more likely to overuse resources,
such
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 as water, which can have a direct impact on occupations, like agriculture. In conclusion, severe air pollution and high levels of crime are the most serious complications facing residents nowadays. To tackle these challenges, governments can encourage
individuals
Use synonyms
 to relocate to smaller regional towns.
Although
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this
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 shift can provide short-term benefits
such
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 as reducing pollutants and chemical substances in the atmosphere, in the long run, it can lead to resource depletion.

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task achievement
To enhance your task response, provide more specific examples and data that support your claims, enhancing the depth and clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to clearly guide the reader through your argument.
introduction conclusion present
The essay begins with a clear introduction and ends with a concise conclusion, both of which summarize the main themes of the discussion well.
logical structure
The main ideas presented are logically structured, allowing readers to follow the argument through each paragraph without confusion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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