In many countries, people are now living longer than before. Some people say an ageing population may creates problems for the governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Recently, many countries are experiencing a phenomenon where
people
live longer than ever before. This
situation invokes a debate on whether having more elderly in a country
creates more problems or benefits. I believe that having an ageing population in a country
benefits the society
and government
more than it creates the problem.
There are some merits in
having more old Change preposition
to
people
per citizen in a country
. Having an ageing population in a country
means longer
lifespan for all its citizens. Since there are more elderly in Add an article
a longer
a
Correct article usage
apply
society
, the youth can learn a valuable life lesson from their elders. It could also
strengthen familial bond
since older Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
people
need extra care from their families. Afterall
, stronger Correct your spelling
After all
bond
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
stregthen
the collective identification of the Correct your spelling
strengthen
society
as a whole.
However
, there are also
some disadvantages from
Change preposition
to
this
phenomenon. Since old people
are more likely to get sick, it could worsen the burden of healthcare and social safety nets in many countries. Although
this
may creates
Change the verb form
create
problem
for the Fix the agreement mistake
problems
goverment
, Correct your spelling
government
this
could also
strengthen the government
's commitment in
protecting its Change preposition
to
populations
, especially Fix the agreement mistake
population
citizen
. Younger Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
people
who saw
Wrong verb form
see
this
commitment may need not to
worry Fix the infinitive
apply
for
their future as their Change preposition
about
government
has already taken care of this
problem.
In sum, I believe there are more advantages of
having Change preposition
to
a
more older Correct article usage
apply
people
in the country
vis-a-vis its disadvantages. Having Correct article usage
a matured
matured
population benefits Replace the word
mature
society
as a whole as it creates stronger bonds in society
. However
, I advise the government
to respond to this
situation by protecting the elderly.Submitted by athaarhdyn on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Try to structure your paragraphs more effectively by introducing each main point clearly and then elaborating on it with specific examples and detailed explanations.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to help create a clear progression of ideas throughout your essay.
Task Achievement
Make sure your introduction fully addresses the prompt by directly stating the extent to which you believe one side outweighs the other. Also, ensure your conclusion summarizes your main points and reaffirms your position.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas further by using real-world examples or data to support your arguments, which will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.