Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays, more offspring spend hours of their days on their
smartphones
than ever before.The main reason behind that is
the recent technological advancement with smartphone penetration not only reached adults,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
. Moreover
, with more parents
entering the workforce than ever before, that has an implication with children
left without their parents
' control.
The notion of children
's hour
spent on Fix the agreement mistake
hours
smartphones
has two sides that need deliberation. On the positive aspects, smartphone usage can make kids stay at home. Especially within the context of parents
joining the workforce and thus
having no time
to watch their children
. Other than that, smartphones
can improve children
's learning process. We have to acknowledge that nowadays, better content on the internet is available that can help children’s
learning process, such
as educational games, videos, and interactive apps. These can have a huge development in terms of boosting children’s
learning ability.
However
, there are some negative aspects that are worthy of consideration. First of all, there are millions of bad content available on social media and the internet that can have a bad influence on the development of children
. For instance
, bad content such
as violence, nudity, et cetera. Moreover
, smartphones
can also
have a detaching effect on a child from its surrounding environments. More time
spent on their phones
equals more time
spent being lonely and not paying attention to their parents
, families and friends.
After considering both sides of the debate, I believe that the benefits of children
spending time
on their phones
outweigh the cost. But this
does not come without a note, I believe that parents
are responsible for moderating the time
spent on their children’s
phones
and enforcing stricter regulations regarding the contents available on their children’s
phones
.
In sum, there are more positive developments than there are negative. But this
comes with a premise that parents
are responsible for enforcing time
limits and parental control of their children’s
phones
.Submitted by athaarhdyn on
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To improve task response, make sure to provide a more balanced view of both the positive and negative effects of smartphone use by children, ensuring clear and comprehensive coverage of the reasons. Additionally, include relevant and specific examples to support your points and illustrate your arguments more vividly.
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Increase coherence and cohesion by ensuring logical flow between ideas, using cohesive devices effectively, and developing clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Have a more precise and consistent thematic linkage from the introduction to the conclusion. Also, consider varying sentence structures to enhance readability and flow.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.