Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both these views!
There are many people who believe that disadvantages of unhealthy diets and other negative approaches.
In conclusion,
ourselves
are in charge of taking care of our Correct pronoun usage
we
health
and diet
. I do agree with this
approach cause
I think individuals should be responsible Correct word choice
because
to
Change preposition
for
this
matter. But the next step, it
is so important that Correct pronoun usage
apply
government
must make sure about Correct article usage
the government
healthy
Add an article
the healthy
diet
of their citizens. As well as
, having supporting laws, strategies and action plans to improve the general rate of health
in society. So, I do think some responsibilities are related to individuals but some are governance duties.
Based on social studies, governments are able to have significant
impact on improving and strengthening healthy Add an article
a significant
life-style
in society. Providing access to qualified foodstuffs and necessary facilities is one of the main duties of governors for their citizens.
From another aspect, in my Correct your spelling
lifestyles
consideration
governments have Add a comma
consideration,
a
effective role to guide and manage their people to the side of having Change the article
an
healthy
life. Add an article
a healthy
On the other hand
, government
must have programs to educate people Add an article
the government
in
Change preposition
on
this
matter. Also
, they should continently
level up Rephrase
continuously
the
social awareness about the advantages of Correct article usage
apply
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
compare
toWrong verb form
compared
Correct article usage
the
although
individuals should take care of their own health
and diet
and they
are responsible Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
all their Change the preposition
for
life
, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
government
should be in charge of their citizens’s Add an article
the government
health
and diet
by providing facilities, insurance, support and
etc.Correct word choice
apply
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure by presenting ideas in a more organized manner with clear topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs. Additionally, check that your introduction and conclusion are effectively summarizing your main points and providing closure to your argument.
task achievement
While your response does address the task, you can enhance task achievement by fully developing all parts of the prompt. Consider discussing each view in separate paragraphs with distinct arguments and examples. Provide specific, relevant examples to support your points, and make sure your stance is clear throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.