Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both these views!

#people #responsibility #individuals #care #health #diet #governments #citizens

There are many people who believe that

ourselves

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

are in charge of taking care of our

health

and

diet

. I do agree with

this

approach

cause

Correct word choice

because

show examples

I think individuals should be responsible

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

matter. But the next step,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is so important that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

must make sure about

healthy

Add an article

the healthy

show examples

diet

of their citizens.

As well as

, having supporting laws, strategies and action plans to improve the general rate of

health

in society. So, I do think some responsibilities are related to individuals but some are governance duties. Based on social studies, governments are able to have

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

impact on improving and strengthening healthy

life-style

Correct your spelling

lifestyles

show examples

in society. Providing access to qualified foodstuffs and necessary facilities is one of the main duties of governors for their citizens. From another aspect, in my

consideration

Add a comma

consideration,

show examples

governments have

Change the article

show examples

effective role to guide and manage their people to the side of having

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

life.

On the other hand

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

must have programs to educate people

Change preposition

show examples

this

matter.

Also

, they should

continently

Rephrase

continuously

show examples

level up

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social awareness about the advantages of

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

life-style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

disadvantages of unhealthy diets and other negative approaches. In conclusion,

although

individuals should take care of their own

health

and

diet

and

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are responsible

Change the preposition

for

show examples

all their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should be in charge of their citizens’s

health

and

diet

by providing facilities, insurance, support

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

etc.

Submitted by TUTOO on Fri Jan 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure by presenting ideas in a more organized manner with clear topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs. Additionally, check that your introduction and conclusion are effectively summarizing your main points and providing closure to your argument.

task achievement

While your response does address the task, you can enhance task achievement by fully developing all parts of the prompt. Consider discussing each view in separate paragraphs with distinct arguments and examples. Provide specific, relevant examples to support your points, and make sure your stance is clear throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

228 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

health-conscious decisions
self-discipline
informed choices
personal accountability
regulating food industries
implementing policies
healthy eating
public health campaigns
subsidies for healthy food
enabling environment
accessible
affordable

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
In particular nations, higher education students live at family house during the university years, whereas in other nations students apply universities in different city. There are some benefits for their social skills but also some drawbacks about their personal life. This essay will argue that the advantages of this outweigh the drawbacks.
6
band
Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to and work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reason why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. Write your response not less than 250 words. You get 40 minutes to complete this task
The reason of learning languages from another country in this globalization era has been debatable and now become controversial with many people claiming that the only benefit we receive from aquiring a foreign language is to use it while travelling and working in the same country while others reject this notion. The substantial influence of this trend has sparked controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the former proposition appears to be more rational.
4.5
band
Learning English is important. Disagree or agree?
From my point of view learning English open up several doors for everyone.
5
band
In some countries older people are being encouraged to work longer and not to retire. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working beyond retirement age.
In some states older generations are required to continue working even after reaching retirement age. While this practice may enhance their financial security and mental-being, it could potentially impact their overall health condition. Additionally, it might lead to reduced job opportunities for the younger generations.
5
band
In some countries, governments are encouraging businesses and industries to move to regional areas outside big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
In many nations, industries and businesses are encouraged by states to shift to regional areas far away from megacities. In my opinion, I believe that this initiative can bring about more problems for a company compared to any advantages it might bring.

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both these views!

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learning English is important. Disagree or agree?

In some countries older people are being encouraged to work longer and not to retire. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working beyond retirement age.

In some countries, governments are encouraging businesses and industries to move to regional areas outside big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?