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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #brands #clothes #cars #items #development
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It is irrefutable that branded
products
 and services have become increasingly popular nowadays.
This
 essay intends to discuss the reasons for
this
 increasing
brand
 consciousness.
While
 there are some drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 trend, I consider it to be far more beneficial. There are many reasons why
people
 are going after
brands
. The first reason is that these are considered a status symbol.
Brands
 speak about the person who is buying them.
Secondly
, advertising and the media have spread awareness about these
brands
 like wildfire. Branded items are
also
 shown to have better quality and
thus
people
 prefer them over other
products
.
Moreover
, these
brands
 have come within the pocket of the ordinary person. With the growing economy, the purchasing power of
people
 has gone up, which
also
 makes them go for
brands
. The increasing
brand
 focus and consciousness
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 many advantages. The main advantage is that companies now emphasize
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
quality and customer service. Businesses know that to survive in today’s competitive world, they need to have a good
brand
 reputation, and
hence
people
 are offered better services. To cite an example, if a person buys a branded cell phone, but
unfortunately
Add a comma
unfortunately,
show examples
 it stops working for some reason, he gets a full replacement, provided it is within the warranty period. Companies are
also
 benefited as it becomes easier to introduce new
products
 into the market. They need to spend less on marketing
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if they already have a good
brand
 image. Another positive effect is that these
brands
 have led to the emergence of another big industry, which is of imitations or copies.
This
 secondary industry is catering to a far bigger population and is adding a lot to the economy. On the downside,
brands
 provide a feeling of inadequacy among those
people
 who cannot afford them. Sometimes,
people
 end up overspending on
such
 items and
this
 upsets the family budget. Some
people
 may even resort to petty
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
such
 as shoplifting, pickpocketing and chain snatching.
Finally
,
people
 are becoming workaholics to buy
such
products
, and are failing to draw a line between work and leisure and
also
 between work and family, which is adding to their stress and strain.
To sum up
,
brand
 heedfulness can be attributed to many reasons. Despite the few drawbacks, I believe
this
 rising lure of branded
products
 to be a positive development
overall
.
Submitted by aamenis on

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is fully developed with further explanation, examples, and arguments to support the main points. Examples provided should be detailed and relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, ensuring that the essay has a smooth flow. Avoid repeating the same transition words.
task achievement
Maintain a balanced approach to both aspects of the question. Address both the reasons for the popularity of branded items and the positive and negative consequences equally.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Conspicuous consumption
  • Brand loyalty
  • Elitism
  • Marketing strategies
  • Consumer psychology
  • Purchase behavior
  • Economic stratification
  • Sustainability
  • Luxury goods
  • Peer influence
  • Global marketing
  • Brand equity
  • Materialistic values
  • Status symbol
  • Quality perception
  • Investment piece
  • Influencer culture
  • Exclusivity
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