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Writing Samples
Band 7

Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In recent years, the question of whether responsibility for
discipline
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 lies with
parents
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 or with teachers has been widely debated.
While
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 some contend that instilling
discipline
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 in individuals is the
parents
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' duty, others argue that teachers should enforce orderliness.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I support the former viewpoint. On the one hand, I agree with those who advocate guardians' role in instilling
discipline
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.
Parents
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 are often regarded as the first and most influential authority figures in a child's life because they can shape their
children
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's values,
such
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 as respect, self-control, and accountability, from an early age.
For example
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, a 2012 study in Denmark found that
parents
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 have the greatest influence on a child's personality, emphasising the importance of family upbringing for
children
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's behaviour.
Therefore
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, guardians should be actively involved in teaching their progenies, helping to raise a self-disciplined generation.
On the other hand
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, opponents argue that educators are responsible for enforcing high standards of
discipline
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 within the school environment. They point out that instructors can take disciplinary action against students for misconduct, helping pupils learn to follow rules.
Furthermore
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, educators can help pupils establish principles and a strong sense of responsibility through various activities, including cleaning, peer teaching, and gardening, that are integrated into school life.
For instance
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, in Japan, students should take part in cleaning duties, thereby encouraging participation in community service, which eventually fosters personal development and, in turn, builds responsible members of society.
To conclude
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,
although
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 pedagogues do have, to some extent, an effect on shaping
children
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's values, I believe that
parents
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 have the primary accountability to raise well-mannered
children
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.
Parents
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 are the main influence in a child's life;
thus
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, they have a substantial influence on their offspring.

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structure
Keep a clear plan. Each paragraph should talk one idea and end with a small sentence that links to the next idea.
content
Begin with an easy intro that says what you will talk about and your view at the end.
lexical
Use simple words only. Some words in this essay are not in the top 100 words. Use 'children', 'parents', 'school' etc.
examples
Use examples that fit the point you make and show how they prove your idea.
conclusion
Finish with a short last sentence that matches your idea from the start.
task understanding
The idea is clear and you state your view.
content
You give both sides of the issue.
coherence
You use examples to back up points.
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