Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In the contemporary era, right from birth to death, most of our efforts are concerned with the fulfilment of basic needs.

Although

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it is believed by major strata of society that seniors' lives are much better than before, several people opine that living in old age is worse.

This

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essay intends to analyse both viewpoints,

however

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, based on the latter thought. To embark on, one of the paramount reasons behind

this

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is health issues in old age. Owing to

this

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, the use of pesticides and chemicals can have a negative impact on our immune system.

This

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intent to grow older can affect the body, a result of diseases

such

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as diabetes and leukaemia.

For instance

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, the report of healthcare shows that 85% of people aged 65 or older have issues with diabetes. Probing

further

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, healthcare costs and disparities are increasing in access to care remain a concern. Outcome, As individuals age, they may experience heightened stress levels, potentially leading to issues related to blood pressure. On the other side, medical advancements have extended life expectancy and improved the eminence of life for seniors. Elderly services, like retirement communities, and social support provide coping and assistance for those in need.

For instance

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, with the help of advanced technology doctors can monitor the health of patients easily, without coming physically. Consequences, An older individual may find it beneficial to refrain from traveling, particularly considering the current circumstances.

Furthermore

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, with access to the internet and various technological devices, older adults can stay connected with loved ones.

To conclude

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, few communities argue that getting old in the modern world is entirely negative, I believe that life for the elderly today is more comfortable than it was in the past. All thanks to advanced technology.

Submitted by shubhashish.bobby on Fri Jan 26 2024

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structure

Strengthen the structure of your essay by presenting clear and distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that directly relates to the question prompt, followed by explanations and examples that support the main idea.

examples

Work on providing more relevant examples that directly support the points you are trying to make. Ensure that the examples are specific and detailed rather than general or vague, which helps in making your arguments more persuasive and your essay more coherent.

introduction/conclusion

Ensure that your introduction clearly introduces the topic and outlines the structure of the essay. Similarly, make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed and clearly states your own viewpoint, linking back to the prompt.

task response

Focus on fully addressing all parts of the task. Your essay should offer a balanced discussion of both views presented in the prompt, followed by a reasoned conclusion that reflects your own viewpoint, supported by the arguments you have presented.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

elderly
modern world
decline
physical
mental health
diseases
disabilities
social isolation
loneliness
access
healthcare
medications
lifelong learning
personal growth
social support
community engagement
positive aspects
negative aspects

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Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Some people believe that technological advancements have made traditional skills and methods obsolete, while others argue that these skills are still valuable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more people are working from home rather than at the workplaces. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays in many countries chemicals are used to preserve food. Do the advantages of this use outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

"prevention is better than cure". Research and treating is too costly. so it would be better to invest in preventive measure. To what extend do you agree.