It is important for people to take risk, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays individuals suppose that taking
risks
is critical in their professional and personal lives either. I believe that to be happy in personal
life
and a valuable employee in professional
life
each human being should take
risks
. I think that taking
risks
in professional
lifes
Correct your spelling
life
has plenty of upside possibilities.
Firstly
, embracing
risks
can open opportunities for advancement in one’s career. It may bring favourable professional outcomes and new chances.
Therefore
,
such
moves can contribute to a person’s
overall
development.
Moreover
, taking
risks
may involve reaching out to new people, collaborating with new teams, or even visiting unusual events. These actions can lead to valuable networking circles so, the development of professional relationships can be very beneficial for the future professional
life
. Taking
risks
in personal
life
can lead to personal growth, improved decision-making skills, and beneficial lessons from failures. I think that facing challenges helps people discover more about themselves, their strengths, and areas for improvement. Assessing
risks
and making decisions based on careful consideration can enhance decision-making skills. Accepting failure as a learning experience makes a person stronger,
moreover
, each failure will mean a new opportunity. In conclusion, it is significant to note that taking
risks
can bring positive outcomes and a person should not refrain from taking
risks
.
However
,
risks
may come with substantial downside possibilities, which people should be considerate of
while
making decisions involving risk-taking. As every move and decision in both professional and personal
life
comes with a certain degree of risk, risk can be considered neither positive nor negative development, but rather an inherent part of a person’s
life
.
Submitted by nazrin.i.amirova on

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introduction conclusion present
While your introduction and conclusion are present, they could be strengthened by providing a clearer overview and summarizing your key points more succinctly at the end. The introduction could provide a deeper insight into the significance of risk-taking in professional and personal lives. Reinforce the conclusion with a summary that encapsulates the essay's core arguments.
logical structure
Your essay has a logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance the organization, make sure that each paragraph deals with a single idea, transitions between paragraphs are smooth, and the main idea of each paragraph is clear from the first sentence.
supported main points
You have supported your main points with some explanations, but to attain a higher score, aim to enrich your essay with more specific examples. Engage with the question by providing concrete illustrations of how risk-taking can impact professional and personal life experiences.
complete response
You provided a complete response to the task by discussing both sides of the argument on risk-taking. Ensure that you cover all parts of the prompt thoroughly, developing your stance with a balanced discussion and clear, comprehensive ideas.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are generally clear, but work on deepening and explaining them more comprehensively. Develop ideas fully to show a higher range of thought, add depth to your argument, and maintain the relevancy of your points to the question.
relevant specific examples
You have included some general examples, but they lack depth and specificity. Strengthen your essay by using more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This can add to the persuasiveness of your writing and demonstrate a better understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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