IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #university #students #home #study #city
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Being a
student
 in your hometown can feel different from being a
student
 abroad. Weighing the pros and cons of living away from home is a matter of personal preference and personality type. First of all,
student
life
 could be the first step toward
mature
Correct article usage
a mature
show examples
life
. Living with your family or apart depends mostly on the university's geolocation. Personally, I attended the university in my hometown and lived with my parents. From the pros, I did not have any emotional discomfort changing the city or country.
Furthermore
, I did not have any stress related to my accommodation, being used to the city.
However
, I did not feel much like a
student
 because I stayed with my family.
On the other hand
, being a
student
 from another city or country may be much more exciting. The experience of
student
life
 might feel different. The impact of moving to another place, the accommodation, and the interaction with colleagues should feel closer to
mature
Correct article usage
a mature
show examples
life
.
However
, for some individuals,
this
 might be very stressful. Especially these kinds of changes, where one must adapt to new surroundings and a new schedule. All of the above are benefits if the person is extroverted and does not have problems with making new friends. But if you are introverted,
this
 kind of adaptation may take more time than usual,
as a result
, it might be stressful, and one could want to give up, not being able to face the outcome. In conclusion, living away from your home during university could outweigh the disadvantages only if you can deal well with stressful situations.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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task response
Your essay offers a balanced view of the topic, discussing both advantages and disadvantages effectively. However, it can benefit from a more developed analysis, such as providing concrete examples or further exploring the pros and cons.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases or linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly. For example, words like 'however,' 'moreover,' and 'consequently' can help guide the reader through your arguments more fluidly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph develops a single, clear idea. This can be done by including more specific examples or further explanations for your points. For instance, illustrating how living away from home fosters independence with real-life examples can add more depth to your essay.
introduction
Your introduction sets a clear tone for the essay, addressing the main topic effectively.
conclusion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your viewpoint, offering a clear stance on the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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