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Band 6.5

Essay topics: Some people think that it is important for children to learn lessons outside the classroom by visiting public buildings. In what extend do you agree or disagree?

#topics #people #children #lessons #classroom #buildings
There is no doubt that these days kids should visit public areas outside of school and learn there to have a really helpful education experience. The question is, how are the outside school activities going to improve
students
' level? In
this
 essay, I am going to discuss my reasons for agreement and draw my personal conclusion. In terms of advantages, non-classroom learning will create a different memory for
students
 and they will never forget the information. The main reason given to support
this
 claim is that the language of the numbers is dull for young learners. To illustrate, the biggest universities
as well as
 the touism majors send a group of
students
 abroad to learn more, the technique they use to
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
extend your ideas
as well as
 your knowledge will reflect directly on the quality of education.
Moreover
, the other ways with classroom lessons will give the kids a very strong knowledge, Japan has many types of kindergarten one of them depends 80% on outside activities.
Firstly
, visiting public buildings will improve student skills
such
 as communication, purchasing and presenting.
In other words
, they will see more than learning. In conclusion,
although
 some people see outside lessons as not really important, others see visiting public areas
such
 as parks, museums, mosques and zoos that will give the
students
 a complete trip of learning.
Therefore
, I believe that breaking the routine is the most important even if it is other learning.
However
, in learning it is more important, that will add the
students
 more knowledge
as well as
 experience.
Submitted by Yousef on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear stance on the topic, but it still lacks a comprehensive range of ideas. To improve task achievement, be sure to address all parts of the task more fully. Expand on your ideas and provide more specific examples to back them up.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, your essay should have a clear logical structure. Use paragraphs effectively, each with a clear main idea and follow this with supporting sentences that develop the idea. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smooth to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
To further support your main points and strengthen your argument, be sure to provide specific examples and evidence. This will not only demonstrate your understanding of the topic but also make your essay more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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