Nowadays most of the parents are working which lead to harmful effects on their children. what are the causes and result.

#parents #effects #children

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Today most families have both

parents

Use synonyms

working to attain a decent life.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

brings

Verb problem

has

show examples

a negative influence

Change preposition

show examples

children

Use synonyms

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

family

time

Use synonyms

decreases. There are several key factors influencing

this

Linking Words

today. One of them is high inflation. Groceries, monthly expenses, student education, and entertainment is at it's

all

Add a hyphen

all-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

high. And

this

Linking Words

affects the

time

Use synonyms

parents

Use synonyms

can spend with their

children

Use synonyms

as both are required to fill working hours.

This

Linking Words

may lead

children

Use synonyms

to feel lonely

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

lost

Wrong verb form

lose

show examples

precious family

time

Use synonyms

to grow and nurture under their

Use synonyms

parents

Change to a genitive case

parent's

parents'

show examples

supervision. Loneliness and depression

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

been two of the keywords most used to describe the latest Alpha generation. In the early development period, it is crucial for

children

Use synonyms

to learn

socializing

Verb problem

to socialise

show examples

and

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

respect elders.

WIth

Correct your spelling

With

show examples

the void supervision of

parents

Use synonyms

at home,

children

Use synonyms

may become violent and disrespectful to seniors of their age. It is uncommon to hear the younger generation destroying invaluable historical

artifacts

Change the spelling

artefacts

show examples

in an attempt to get their voices heard. Dependency

Change preposition

show examples

gadget

Fix the agreement mistake

gadgets

show examples

and lack of social skills has affected

children

Use synonyms

to grow individualistic and self-oriented.

While

Linking Words

there is a positive side of

children

Use synonyms

being able to learn faster than

eras prior

Rephrase

earlier

show examples

, there is a tendency to only memorize and solve things instantly

instead

Linking Words

of trying to learn the process. In South Korea, we have a TV program highlighting the day of a high-functioning student

however

Linking Words

always missing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

1 question in his Korean SATs. During

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

his daily routine, one of the experts noticed

this

Linking Words

student often goes right to the answer page to solve them

instead

Linking Words

of learning where in the process his calculations went wrong.

This

Linking Words

indicates students are less patient and

prefers

Correct subject-verb agreement

prefer

show examples

instant results. All in all, I believe

children

Use synonyms

are negatively affected when both

parents

Use synonyms

are working.

This

Linking Words

causes

children

Use synonyms

to feel lonely, depend on gadgets, and socialize less which causes them to have less patience in

this

Linking Words

world. It is important for

children

Use synonyms

to learn the process, experience failure, and accept them. With

Use synonyms

parents

Change noun form

parent's

parents'

show examples

supervision, I believe

this

Linking Words

will enable more younger generation to have better all-rounded skills to equip them for adulthood.

Submitted by verinacornelia298 on Sat Jan 27 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

While your essay demonstrates a logical flow, it would benefit from a clearer progression of ideas within each paragraph. Consider using topic sentences and subsequent explanation and example sentences to provide a more structured argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have presented an introduction and a conclusion which are both clear and relevant. However, make sure that your conclusion summarizes the main points more effectively without introducing new information.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your main points are supported, but to enhance your score, incorporate a wider range of supporting details, such as data or research findings, to bolster your arguments.

Task Achievement

Your essay addresses the task adequately, answering both what the causes and results of the problem are. However, deepen your response by fully exploring and developing each cause and effect, rather than merely listing them.

Task Achievement

You have presented ideas that are relevant to the topic, but they need to be expanded upon more comprehensively. Each paragraph should include a single clear idea that is thoroughly explored and explained.

Task Achievement

To achieve a higher band score, include specific examples that are directly related to the main ideas. These examples should be detailed and used to clearly support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

353 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

dual-income households
parental supervision
emotional neglect
behavioral issues
technology dependence
family bonding
irregular routines
academic support
compensatory behavior
materialism
over-gifting
independence
after-school programs
extended family
educational development

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Nowadays most of the parents are working which lead to harmful effects on their children. what are the causes and result.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that the internet has positive effect , others think that It has negative trends .Discuss both views and give your opinion .

In this technological era, personal information is stored on computers by many companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion

International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?