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Band 4.5

In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.

#countries #world #life #expectancy #situation
In recent years, there have been some arguments in many countries that
argue
Verb problem
apply
show examples
life
expectancy
 is significantly increasing.
This
 essay will examine that the disadvantages of
this
 are outweighed by the advantages. In what follows,
this
 essay is going to explain the cost of living with a longer
life
expectancy
 and
also
 the causes of
this
 longer
life
.
Moreover
, it will address why we should not be greedy in our lives and what are the consequences of these actions. The main reason why we do not have a greater
life
expectancy
 currently is that, nowadays, with the development of new tools and equipment, a substantial group of individuals prefer to follow trends.
This
 action leads them to spend a huge amount of money to meet their expectations.
Furthermore
, living with the
expectancy
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a longer
life
 pushes people to have the desire for more and more and prevents them from enjoying their lives at all.
For example
, some developed countries,
although
 they have a better quality of
life
, still want to gain more.
On the other hand
, some groups believe that longer
life
expectancy
 has many benefits and advantages. They argue it can
also
 lead them to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their desires and achieve anything they want.
However
, there is actually no clear evidence to prove
this
 way always has many advantages. In conclusion, living a simple
life
 with an ordinary
life
 pattern could
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 our desires and make many groups of people satisfied with their lives.
Submitted by aryanali808080 on

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task response
Make sure to clearly discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of increasing life expectancy. Your discussion appears to sway towards the disadvantages without sufficiently addressing the advantages.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the points you will discuss, and the conclusion should effectively summarize your essay without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Include clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main point you will discuss.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support the points you make in each paragraph. The essay requires concrete examples to substantiate arguments.
task achievement
When giving your opinion, make sure it is supported with clear reasons and examples. Avoid making broad statements without backing them up.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • demographics
  • societal development
  • healthcare system
  • pension funds
  • multigenerational
  • workforce
  • economic sustainability
  • intergenerational inequality
  • longevity
  • proactive policy
  • geriatrics
  • senior citizens
  • ageing population
  • fertility rates
  • dependency ratio
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