In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
People
live expectation increases in the present day in many people
argue that it
Correct pronoun usage
they
adds
more problems, Correct subject-verb agreement
add
while
other people
think the opposite. I posit that the advantages are unable to surpass the merits.
On the one hand, if the number of elderly people
continuously grows, the governments would be bearing on hospital prices due to
an inadequate the old people
to pay off. Thus
, the governments should allocate more funding every year whereas
that funding can be used for other matters related to education for example
. I consider that when this
phenomenon is ignored, the grant for elderly health will take more than 20% of national funding yearly.
On the other hand
, it is hard to be in developed countries
when there are many old people
. This
happens caused by an inadequate the old people
produce money, whilst they depend on their relatives. In terms of being developed countries
, the governments should have higher "GDP". Even though,
some elderly Remove the comma
apply
people
can save their lives independently, it is a small number compared to others. These problems suffocate societies because they pay taxes more. For example
, people
who actively work must pay taxes regularly whereas
it is used to cover the other unproductive citizen's issues. As consequence
, the more Correct article usage
a consequence
number
of elderly Correct article usage
the number
people
in some countries
climbs , the more amount taxes the government takes.
In conclusion, having more elderly people
only produces more problems for the government not only bearing more in hospital price matters but also
disclosing for being developed countries
. To suggest, workers of companies should consist of 20% elderly people
aiming to reduce unproductive population.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Include an explicit thesis statement in your introduction that addresses the essay question directly and outlines the main arguments that will be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Aim to develop your main points with specific examples or evidence. Avoid making general statements without supporting them with concrete details. This provides strength to your arguments and engages the reader.
task achievement
Focus on maintaining a balanced view when discussing the advantages and disadvantages. Consider elaborating on both sides of the argument to ensure you are providing a comprehensive response to the question.
coherence cohesion
Work on your grammar and sentence structures to enhance clarity and precision in your writing. Avoid sentence fragments and run-on sentences by reviewing the use of conjunctions and punctuation.
task achievement
Check your essay for any spelling mistakes and ensure that you have used the correct vocabulary to express your ideas effectively.