many countries are spending a huge of money on supporting their competitors to take part in some worldwide sports competitions. others argue that it would be better if these countries could spend the money on children to take part in sports. to what extent do you agree or disagree

#countries #money #competitors #part #sports #competitions #children

Nowadays, when worldwide sports competitions are highly widespread, a tendency to invest a huge amount of money for participants can be observed. It is agreed, that a healthy growing generation is necessary for the flourishing future of each

country

therefore

, it would be better to spend finances to involve

children

in sports.

This

essay,

firstly

, will discuss why a budget which is spent on competitions should be reduced, followed by an analysis of the main benefits which could be observed by encouraging

children

to do physical activity. In general, each

country

should take part in worldwide competitions to introduce their strengths and to increase

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

nation's awareness of foreign cultures.

However

, what is true, is that countless amount of money is spent on preparation and equipment for a few hours and doubtful possibility of winning.

Moreover

, if the representative did not achieve success by taking one of the three prize places, the participation would consider to be meaningless.

In addition

, only the one who is the winner receives all the fame.

On the other hand

, the basis of each successful

country

is a healthy society,

therefore

, it is undoubtedly smarter to invest finances in

children

's development. Government should focus on the younger generation to provide an ability to improve the quality of life,by creating special areas where sports classes will be free.

Firstly

, it will have a positive impact on the

country

because it cares about its citizens,

secondly

, it will help

children

from poor families or rural areas to be similar to those who have higher financial status.

To conclude

this

essay supports the idea that incomes should be regulated wisely by reducing the amount which is spent on worldwide competition,

conversely

, it would be better to invest money to ensure the prosperity of the young generation.

Submitted by amina.ilyuk8 on Sun Jan 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that this idea is clearly stated in the topic sentence.

coherence cohesion

Utilize a range of cohesive devices effectively but avoid overuse, to ensure that ideas flow logically from one to another.

task achievement

Make sure to address both sides of the argument evenly before stating your opinion, in order to give a balanced view on the topic.

task achievement

Back up your main ideas with specific examples or evidence for greater impact and to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

End your essay with a strong conclusion that summarizes the main points and clearly reflects your opinion on the matter.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

elite sports
national pride
international recognition
sports infrastructure
grassroots development
healthier future generation
talent nurturing
societal needs
life skills
discipline
social interaction
funding allocation
public inspiration
global competitions

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many countries are spending a huge of money on supporting their competitors to take part in some worldwide sports competitions. others argue that it would be better if these countries could spend the money on children to take part in sports. to what extent do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

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