People can perform everyday tasks, such as shopping and banking as well as business transactions, without meeting other people face-to-face because of technology. What are the effects of this on individuals and society as a whole?
Thankful for contemporary high technology gives us an opportunity a lot of ways of transferring money to each other despite far sides. In my opinion,
this
development is very useful in this
era because modern time is a very globalized era that is
useful for saving time. But others like to talk about some risks of business transactions.
Equally important, in modern society foreign trade has increased globally so it requires daily transactions. They need to send payment for goods and services. Especially since everybody can make any payment everyday
. Replace the word
every day
This
means that automation is inevitably useful for our busy lives. The last
two decades rapidly developed the banking scheme in most countries. For instance
, everybody knows and can use a VISA card which uses everyday tasks for shopping and travel widely.The most recent wire transfer hi tech
recently successful in the international banking scheme is named SWIFT. I can't imagine all life without both of the above.
Add a hyphen
hi-tech
On the contrary
, the effects of this
on some people and other societies reflect on may bring a risk because most transactions are done without meeting people physically. If it makes mistakes it will lose money, such
as some banking customers' information lost or a computer program that has errors. Since the money transaction process gets more risk. Therefore
, few people prefer cash over other transaction systems.
In conclusion, nowadays with the hi tech
developed for the banking system, we can save a lot of time and we can trust each other especially in, hope the banking program. Add a hyphen
hi-tech
Due to
most countries using that rule, it is extraordinarily useful for us compared to a hundred years ago. So we should respect a few per cent of the population, who are still confused about that technology.Submitted by nbogey777 on
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task achievement
Your essay covers the task requirements, but the main ideas could be more clearly articulated. Try to make your viewpoints stand out more clearly in each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, try to make connections between ideas more seamless with better transition statements.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effectively frame your arguments.
task achievement
You have used specific examples like VISA and SWIFT to illustrate your points, which strengthens your arguments.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...