The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The current state of the world could be considered less dangerous compared to a century ago, and the authorities should spend less money on the armed forces. In
this
case, I would like to agree with the statement. There are some reasons why I agree which I will discuss in Linking Words
this
essay.
Linking Words
Firstly
, the state of the world is completely different from a hundred years ago. A hundred years ago there might have been a lot of conflicts going on, especially in the 1930s up until the 1940s when there was a world war. Under the risk Linking Words
of
an insurgence might occur any time of day, having sufficient armed forces to protect one's country is a necessity. But nowadays I would argue there are only a small amount of insurgence is happening, Change preposition
that
therefore
buying a massive amount of offensive and defensive products is not necessarily the best choice.
Linking Words
Secondly
, the issue has evolved into a digital threat. Linking Words
It is clear that
technology has been more advanced than it ever has at the present moment. Linking Words
Accordingly
, the hazard has Linking Words
also
shifted from physical to digital. It is uncommon to see on the news a data breach or a data leakage, and those are two examples of danger that should be addressed immediately. Putting a lot of money and effort into increasing the nation's digital security is an urgent matter in my opinion as the data contains a humongous number of personal information that could harm plenty of people if it is used inappropriately.
In summary, it is unnecessary to allocate a huge amount of budget for physical artillery and it is wise to use it more on improving digital security as the kind of threat has Linking Words
also
changed in the past century.Linking Words
Submitted by mikeasad on
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task achievement
Ensure that you fully address the question prompt throughout your essay, not just in the introduction and conclusion, but also in each supporting paragraph.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more thoroughly with examples that are specifically linked to the question statement. Think of historical data or current examples that can strongly support your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to better link your ideas and paragraphs. This will help the coherence of your essay and the flow of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction through the main body to the conclusion.