Success is often measure by wealth and material belongings. Do yout hink wealth is the best measure of succes? what makes a successful person?
According to
data, there are a lot of characteristics of successful people
. Several of them are measured by wealth
and material belongings, but it should not be that superficial. Wealth
is only a symbol of belonging, while
success
is a form of impact that appears right after the actions are taken. Success
is a verb, not a noun. We can not measure success
only from wealth
and belongings, as long as it can not have any impact towards the people
or surroundings.
Success
can be determined when people
witness these two conditions. Firstly
, they can help their selves by fulfilling their necessity every day without burdening others
, which is particularly called financial freedom. This
current condition usually happens after humans complete the development and growth process. They include basic needs, likely food, home, and clothes. However
, some people
now believe other needs such
as freedom and self-actualization have also
become important to a successful life. People
who can be able doing their activities in good health and/or mental
are Change the word
mentally
also
success form
in maintaining their body health.
On the other side, the ability to help Replace the word
successful
others
is also
can be called successful. From the social context, humans can not live alone in this
world, hence
we need companions and hands from others
. furthermore
, humans agree that good and successful people
are the ones who like to help others
. Particularly those who suffer from difficulties. We can help by giving our support, not just financially, but also
mentally. If we only have time and ear
to hear, we can Correct article usage
an ear
also
give time to someone who needs it. Giving something that actually can not be taken back is a form of success
.
In conclusion, neither wealth
nor material belongings, success
can not be determined by those kinds of stuff. It can only be determined by two conditions. Whether someone who can help them selves
or someone who can give help to Correct your spelling
themselves
others
who need it.Submitted by adibah.r on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and develops that idea with supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking devices to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
The introduction should more directly address the question prompt. Clearly outline your view on whether wealth is the best measure of success and suggest the alternative measures that you will discuss.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points about what makes a successful person. These examples help to concretize your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?