A mobile phone plays a significant role. Some people think that it affects medical and social aspects of people’s daily life from the negative side. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#phone #role #people #aspects #people’s #life #side

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Cell phone usage, especially the use of

smart

Correct your spelling

smartphones

show examples

phones

, has skyrocketed over the past decade. For many, using a mobile phone is no longer considered a privilege, it is a necessity.

However

, I assume that excessive use of these gadgets contributes to

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

both

Change preposition

in both

show examples

physical and mental health illnesses and

decrease

Correct subject-verb agreement

decreases

show examples

communication

skills. Cell

phones

are integral to everyday tasks

such

as obtaining directions, accessing news and entertainment,

communication

Replace the word

communicating

show examples

with family, friends and coworkers, and managing schedules/meetings. But many of us have become addicted to them and have difficulties with controlling the amount of time we spend staring at our screens.

This

may

causes

Wrong verb form

cause

show examples

physical health issues including eye strain,

neck

Correct word choice

and neck

show examples

and back pain. More often, the widespread use of mobile

phones

and their essential role in our

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

lives may contribute to feelings of stress and anxiety.

Although

smart

Correct your spelling

smartphones

show examples

phones

also

open the door to

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

able to communicate in different ways (text messages, social media messaging and

videocalls

Correct your spelling

video calls

show examples

), they have

also

decrease

Wrong verb form

decreased

show examples

communication

skills.

For instance

, in text messaging people

loose

Replace the word

lose

show examples

important aspects of

communication

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

body

languages

Fix the agreement mistake

language

show examples

, tone of voice and eye contact,

thus

waste

Wrong verb form

wasting

show examples

the ability for true understanding.

Overall

, cell

phones

are now

the

Correct article usage

show examples

crucial part of our daily lives,

however

, I believe that overuse of them can

make

Verb problem

have

show examples

a significant

bad

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

impact on our both physical and mental health and do not improve our

communication

skills,

therefore

, they are ultimately hurting us than serving us.

Submitted by njoldassova on Mon Jan 29 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. In your essay, while you've presented a clear position, you could improve by discussing the contrasting viewpoint to showcase a balanced argument before stating your agreement or disagreement.

task achievement

Expand on your ideas with more specific examples to strengthen your argument. Instead of generally stating health issues, cite reputable studies or statistics that show the correlation between mobile phone usage and health problems.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas into clear, well-formulated paragraphs. Use a wider range of linking words to better connect sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

While you have an introduction and a conclusion, make sure that your introduction includes a clear thesis statement that outlines the structure of your essay, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your points and restates your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

242 words

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A mobile phone plays a significant role. Some people think that it affects medical and social aspects of people’s daily life from the negative side. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of preschool age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents are better caregivers for their young children. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Your Next Door neighbor often listens to loud music late at night. Because of the loud music , you often have problems sleeping. Write a letter to the authority of the building. In your letter Describe the situation Explain the problems it is causing you. Propose a solution to the problem

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?