IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#towns #cities #places #squares #parks
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It is essential for towns and
cities
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 to consider having large public outdoor
spaces
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such
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 as parks and squares.
While
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 these
spaces
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 offer numerous benefits, I believe their necessity varies based on the unique needs of each community. I largely agree that these
spaces
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 are important but acknowledge that they may not be critical for every urban area.
Firstly
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, large public outdoor
spaces
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 significantly enhance public health.
In other words
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, physical activities, like walking and jogging, can be encouraged, leading to the reduction of health issues
such
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 as obesity and anxiety. Parks and squares,
for example
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, provide residents with safe
areas
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 to exercise and enjoy nature.
Additionally
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, these
spaces
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 foster social interactions by offering venues for people to meet, reducing social isolation, and strengthening community bonds.
Secondly
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, these
spaces
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 have considerable environmental benefits. In fact, they contribute to improving air quality, reducing noise pollution, and mitigating urban heat.
Moreover
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, public
spaces
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such
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 as gardens and promenades can stimulate local economies. They attract visitors and support nearby businesses,
such
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 as cafes and shops, thereby boosting economic activity and growth.
However
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, not all towns and
cities
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 need large public
spaces
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 to succeed. Smaller towns or those with specific challenges might prioritize other investments,
such
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 as healthcare or education.
Cities
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 dealing with rapid urbanization may focus on infrastructure development rather than expanding public parks.
Similarly
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,
cities
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 surrounded by ample natural landscapes may already have sufficient green
areas
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, making additional large public
spaces
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 less necessary. In conclusion,
while
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 large public outdoor
spaces
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 offer various advantages, their importance is not uniform across all urban
areas
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. The impact of
such
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spaces
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 depends on the specific context and needs of each town or city.
Therefore
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,
while
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 these
areas
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 are beneficial, they are not universally essential.
Submitted by m.ali.gholamalian on

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task achievement
While your task response is strong, digging deeper into specific examples could reinforce your argument. Incorporating varied perspectives or counterarguments might also enhance the depth of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, however, refining your transitions between points can improve readability. Ensure that each paragraph seamlessly flows into the next.
task achievement
You addressed the prompt comprehensively and provided a balanced viewpoint, showcasing the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each main point is sufficiently supported.
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