IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development

#people #money #development
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In
this
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 contemporary epoch, numerous individuals choose to invest a profound
amount
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 of
money
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 rather than secure it. I agree with the stated notion because
people
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 are willing to invest hundreds of thousands of
dollars
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 in the stock
market
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 and in their multifarious social media channels. I will discuss
this
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 in detail in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with,
people
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 are putting their currency into stock trading to earn an enormous bundle of
money
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 and to live lavish lifestyle seamlessly.
On the other hand
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, a place where shares of publicly listed companies are traded, is commonly known as the stock
market
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.
In addition
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,
people
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 tend to buy and sell stocks online which often inclined to gain a tremendous
amount
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 of shares through multifarious invested traded companies.
For instance
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, one of my colleagues in Nepal bought NEPSE shares with just a few bucks and she later received a reward of more than triple the
amount
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 of it after surging the value of the share
market
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 dramatically
thus
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,
people
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 can acquire more cash by spending widely than saving it.
Furthermore
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, spending millions of cash just for a channel automatically brings billions of
dollars
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. It is indeed a source of income for many in contemporary society.
Besides
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, globalising businesses has enriched
people
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's lives and created several options to invest and earn
money
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 instantly with ease.
For instance
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, a popular YouTuber Mr. Beast earns most of his
money
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 from his official YouTube channel where he spends millions of
dollars
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 doing various tasks and challenges and so on which is why his channel gets millions of views after just uploading a video. Henceforth,
people
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 can earn a lot of cash by spending more than just saving it.
To conclude
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, after all the aforementioned reasons, undoubtedly
people
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 are gaining a lot of
dollars
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 and investing
money
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 in the share
market
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 has been a common place to all as it outweighs more benefits and it can bring valuable
amount
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.
Submitted by asmitakhatri490 on

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introduction & conclusion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction stating the topic and your point of view. In the body paragraphs, each main idea should be clearly introduced and followed by relevant examples or explanations. Conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion in a clear way.
logical structure & coherence
The essay should have a logical flow. Use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas and paragraphs. Be sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed, rather than listing multiple unrelated ideas.
supported main points & task response
Develop each point with clear explanations or examples. Avoid vague statements and ensure that the examples are directly related to the main point being discussed. It's also important to show both sides of the argument if required by the prompt.
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