Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work that with their children To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answers.

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In
this
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modern era, the number of offspring who suffer from social difficulties is increasing which is the effect of the work of their
parents
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. I believe that there is a lack of attention to
children
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, so they don'
t
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have
this
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chance to have a good
nurture
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nurtured
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by their
parents
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. On the one hand, it shouldn'
t
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be ignored that by increasing the cost of living in
this
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machinery life sometimes both mother and father need to work to gain enough money for
their
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a
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better life.
For instance
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, if the family don'
t
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have an appropriate salary, their child wouldn'
t
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be able to study or consume some facilities as a child.
Thus
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, their parent should work together in order to make their
children
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's needs come true.
In addition
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, young people can be nurtured not only by their
parents
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but
also
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in school and by their tutors and teachers.
As a result
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, schools play a significant role in educating
children
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on how to act in society
also
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how to predict the possibilities of their issues.
On the other hand
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, home is the most suitable place for kids and
children
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to be nurtured and learn how to face and fix their difficulties in future.
For example
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, it was clear
by
Change preposition
from
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some
researchs
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research
researches
that most of our problems with social connections derive from our childhood and the atmosphere of our homes.
Hence
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, the first place that people start to learn how to live is home and our
parents
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are our first teachers. So, at least each mother should decide to stop working out of the home before pregnancy.
to sum up
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, a large amount of
children
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's social issues would be solved if they spent time with their
parents
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. The more they learn from family, the better action in social life.
Submitted by arefehbks on

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Task response
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear statement on your overall position regarding the question asked. It was not completely clear whether you agree or disagree with the statement.
Task response
Develop your main points with more specific examples and data to support your arguments. The essay would benefit from real-world evidence that strengthens your position.
Coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Use a variety of cohesive devices to link your ideas and paragraphs together more naturally.
Coherence and cohesion
Include a conclusion that summarises your main points and restates your position clearly. Ensure that it does not introduce new ideas but wraps up what has been discussed.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Parental absenteeism
  • Youth delinquency
  • Social development
  • Work-life balance
  • Family-friendly policies
  • Substance abuse
  • Mental health issues
  • Influencers
  • Mitigate
  • Interventions
  • Quality time
  • Family dynamics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Alternative care
  • Behavioral problems
  • Social services
  • Parent-child interaction
  • Civic engagement
  • Peer pressure
  • Digital parenting
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