IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population created the problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has mor elderly people. To what extent do you do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages.

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Nowadays
world
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the world
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face
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faces
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 the problems of
overpopulatin
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overpopulation
 of elder
people
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. It is considered
this
Linking Words
 could be
problem
Add an article
a problem
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 for
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government
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the government
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 as older
people
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 are not part of the employable population
as well as
Linking Words
 local authorities have to pay them pensions with free healthcare facilities.
Therefore
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the disadvantages of increasing
level
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 of elderly
people
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 in the
countries
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. Actually, old
people
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 might create
the
Correct article usage
apply
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problems related to
economic
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the economic
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 state of the country as they are not able to work and pay taxes
for
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to
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 the
government
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.
Additionally
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, in many
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countries
Add a comma
countries,
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government
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 is
requred
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required
 to offer free healthcare services for old
people
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. These issues may lead to
the
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apply
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many issues in terms of economics in many
countries
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.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, with
increasing
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the increasing
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level
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 of elderly
people
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can lower
Verb problem
,
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 the
level
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 of the young generation who are employable and the main source of
people
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 who pay taxes for
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government
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the government
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.
As one
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One
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 of the the greatest examples
can be
Wrong verb form
is
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 Japan with the highest
level
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 of
elder
Replace the word
elderly
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 population within the country. Because of
this
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, they are facing many problems as they should
contrubite
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contribute
 more money to the
maintaining
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maintenance
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 of the elder
human-being's
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human being's
 health and pay benefits to them. In conclusion, the older
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people's
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people
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 population who are increasingly prevalent
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not so beneficial for the economic
stuation
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situation
 of
the
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apply
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many
countries
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.
As well as
Linking Words
 ageing
people
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 are not
considerea
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considered
 as
people
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 who work and pay taxes.
Besides
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,
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government
Add an article
the government
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also
Linking Words
 should care about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health issues
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them any pay benefits

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Task Response
Try to present a more balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population, as the question asks for your assessment of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure to provide a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should paraphrase the question and outline your position clearly. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion.
Task Response
Include both sides of the argument for a complete response, and ensure you make your opinion on the matter clear, especially in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each containing one main idea with supporting sentences. Use a range of cohesive devices and transition words to connect ideas and paragraphs.
Task Response
Develop your arguments fully by providing clear explanations, specific examples, and consequences. Elaborate on each point to fully cover the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation. This includes range and accuracy of grammar use, and sentence structure. Minor errors can affect the clarity of your arguments.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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