In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population created the problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has mor elderly people. To what extent do you do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages.
Nowadays
world
Correct article usage
the world
face
the problems of Change the verb form
faces
overpopulatin
of elder Correct your spelling
overpopulation
people
. It is considered this
could be problem
for Add an article
a problem
government
as older Add an article
the government
people
are not part of the employable population as well as
local authorities have to pay them pensions with free healthcare facilities. Therefore
this
essay will discuss the disadvantages of increasing level
of elderly people
in the countries
.
Actually, old people
might create the
problems related to Correct article usage
apply
economic
state of the country as they are not able to work and pay taxes Add an article
the economic
for
the Change preposition
to
government
. Additionally
, in many countries
Add a comma
countries,
government
is requred
to offer free healthcare services for old Correct your spelling
required
people
. These issues may lead to the
many issues in terms of economics in many Correct article usage
apply
countries
. Subsequently
, with increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
level
of elderly people
can lower
the Verb problem
,
level
of the young generation who are employable and the main source of people
who pay taxes for government
. Add an article
the government
As one
of the the greatest examples Correct word choice
One
can be
Japan with the highest Wrong verb form
is
level
of elder
population within the country. Because of Replace the word
elderly
this
, they are facing many problems as they should contrubite
more money to the Correct your spelling
contribute
maintaining
of the elder Replace the word
maintenance
human-being's
health and pay benefits to them.
In conclusion, the older Correct your spelling
human being's
people's
population who are increasingly prevalent Change noun form
people
are
not so beneficial for the economic Unnecessary verb
apply
stuation
of Correct your spelling
situation
the
many Correct article usage
apply
countries
. As well as
ageing people
are not considerea
as Correct your spelling
considered
people
who work and pay taxes. Besides
, government
Add an article
the government
also
should care about the
health issues Correct article usage
apply
of
them any pay benefitsChange preposition
apply
Submitted by nurayeva_b on
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Task Response
Try to present a more balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population, as the question asks for your assessment of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure to provide a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should paraphrase the question and outline your position clearly. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion.
Task Response
Include both sides of the argument for a complete response, and ensure you make your opinion on the matter clear, especially in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each containing one main idea with supporting sentences. Use a range of cohesive devices and transition words to connect ideas and paragraphs.
Task Response
Develop your arguments fully by providing clear explanations, specific examples, and consequences. Elaborate on each point to fully cover the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation. This includes range and accuracy of grammar use, and sentence structure. Minor errors can affect the clarity of your arguments.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion