More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

modern era, more and more innovations related to

food

Use synonyms

can be found easily near us.

While

Linking Words

buying

food

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

tend not to consider the ingredients and just buy it because they like it. Because of

this

Linking Words

kind of lifestyle, most

people

Use synonyms

are having problems with their weight. Societies think that one solution to

this

Linking Words

problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss my opinions and points supporting my beliefs.

Firstly

Linking Words

, as humans, it becomes our responsibility to maintain the health of our bodies. One of these can be done by considering the

food

Use synonyms

we eat. Normally,

people

Use synonyms

buy

food

Use synonyms

without referring to the nutritional information of it. In my opinion, reading the nutritional information before buying

food

Use synonyms

will make us aware of the

food

Use synonyms

and its ingredients.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is important to educate

people

Use synonyms

to read the label on the

food

Use synonyms

first to decrease the number of overweight

people

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

, there are many solutions that can be applied to

this

Linking Words

problem rather than increasing the price of fattening foods. One of those is, in Singapore, the

food

Use synonyms

distributors stick a

colored

Change the spelling

coloured

show examples

label on the

food

Use synonyms

packaging.

Therefore

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

will easily differentiate the product, whether it is healthy or not.

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is crucial to raise awareness in society.

To sum up

Linking Words

, it is not a solution if we increase the price of fattening foods to reduce the number of overweight

people

Use synonyms

. There are other solutions that can be applied,

such

Linking Words

as educating

people

Use synonyms

to read the nutritional information and sticking a

colored

Change the spelling

coloured

show examples

label on the packaging.

nadiamanda.salsabillaWed Jan 31 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To improve your essay's logical structure, try to create clearer connections between the paragraphs and sentence ideas. This can be achieved by using a wider range of linking words and phrases that demonstrate the relationship between your points.

coherence cohesion

You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, which is excellent. Make sure the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and reflects back on the thesis statement.

coherence cohesion

To support your main points more effectively, include detailed examples and evidence. This could involve citing studies, giving hypothetical scenarios, or referencing real-life situations that underpin your arguments.

task achievement

For a higher task achievement score, ensure you fully respond to all parts of the prompt. This includes not only presenting your opinion but also considering other perspectives and potential counterarguments.

task achievement

To present clearer and more comprehensive ideas, elaborate on each point with detailed explanations. It's not enough to simply state an idea; you should also explore its implications, consequences, and how it relates to the essay question.

task achievement

Including relevant specific examples can significantly enhance your essay. These should directly support your main arguments and should be chosen carefully to illustrate your points in a compelling and clear manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
fattening foods
calorie-dense
healthier food choices
taxation
economic implications
social implications
subsidies
nutritional education
public health campaigns
nanny state
individual's right
consumer behavior
preventative measures

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Many people believe that social networking websites such as facebook and instagram, have had a huge negative impact on both individual and society. To what extent do you agree?
In today's modern world, the internet has contributed the most to the way societies connect with each other. However, some people argue that the usage of Facebook and Instagram could create a harmful impact towards individuals and society. I completely agree with this idea since social media needs people's private data and the possibility of creating social construction is big.
7.5
band
Many governments think that economy progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both view and give your opinion
There is an issue of whether to prioritize economic growth or other kinds of progress as the main purpose is argumentative. While there are different opinions about this debate, I assume that other types of progress should have a crucial role rather than economy
7.5
band
Some people regard the increasing business and cultural contact between countries as a positive development. Others, however, feel that this will lead to the loss of national identities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the frequency and depth of business and cultural contact between countries due to the advancements in internet connection and transportation. However, people hold different views about this phenomenon.
6
band
In the modern world, many employees lack soft skill such as communication and working in the teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills ?
Nowadays a large majority of workers fail at communicating and operating in a group. This might be because of the increased use of technology. Such types of incompetencies can slow down the productivity rate of a company or an organization.
6.5
band
Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
In the past, people were travelling to areas with superior conditions such as nations in Europe, whereas, at these times, the visiting of places where conditions are a problem like the Sahara desert or Antarctica is amazingly increasing.

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people believe that social networking websites such as facebook and instagram, have had a huge negative impact on both individual and society. To what extent do you agree?

Many governments think that economy progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both view and give your opinion

Some people regard the increasing business and cultural contact between countries as a positive development. Others, however, feel that this will lead to the loss of national identities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the modern world, many employees lack soft skill such as communication and working in the teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills ?

Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?