More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
modern era, more and more innovations related to food
can be found easily near us. While
buying food
, people
tend not to consider the ingredients and just buy it because they like it. Because of this
kind of lifestyle, most people
are having problems with their weight. Societies think that one solution to this
problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. In this
essay, I will discuss my opinions and points supporting my beliefs.
Firstly
, as humans, it becomes our responsibility to maintain the health of our bodies. One of these can be done by considering the food
we eat. Normally, people
buy food
without referring to the nutritional information of it. In my opinion, reading the nutritional information before buying food
will make us aware of the food
and its ingredients. Hence
, it is important to educate people
to read the label on the food
first to decrease the number of overweight people
.
Secondly
, there are many solutions that can be applied to this
problem rather than increasing the price of fattening foods. One of those is, in Singapore, the food
distributors stick a colored
label on the Change the spelling
coloured
food
packaging. Therefore
, people
will easily differentiate the product, whether it is healthy or not. Furthermore
, this
is crucial to raise awareness in society.
To sum up
, it is not a solution if we increase the price of fattening foods to reduce the number of overweight people
. There are other solutions that can be applied, such
as educating people
to read the nutritional information and sticking a colored
label on the packaging.Change the spelling
coloured
Submitted by nadiamanda.salsabilla on
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coherence cohesion
To improve your essay's logical structure, try to create clearer connections between the paragraphs and sentence ideas. This can be achieved by using a wider range of linking words and phrases that demonstrate the relationship between your points.
coherence cohesion
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, which is excellent. Make sure the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and reflects back on the thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
To support your main points more effectively, include detailed examples and evidence. This could involve citing studies, giving hypothetical scenarios, or referencing real-life situations that underpin your arguments.
task achievement
For a higher task achievement score, ensure you fully respond to all parts of the prompt. This includes not only presenting your opinion but also considering other perspectives and potential counterarguments.
task achievement
To present clearer and more comprehensive ideas, elaborate on each point with detailed explanations. It's not enough to simply state an idea; you should also explore its implications, consequences, and how it relates to the essay question.
task achievement
Including relevant specific examples can significantly enhance your essay. These should directly support your main arguments and should be chosen carefully to illustrate your points in a compelling and clear manner.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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