Advantages and disadvantages of being a music lover? why do people enjoy listening to music?

Universal
music group
Correct your spelling
Music Group
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chairman and CEO said in September 2022 that 100,000 tracks were being added to
music
platforms every day.
This
Correct determiner usage
These
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statistics
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
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how closely modern
people
and
music
are connected. There are both merits and demerits
of
Change preposition
to
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this
phenomenon. The following essay will discuss
Correct article usage
the
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advantages and disadvantages of being a
music
lover. On the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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there are lots of positive sides of
music
and its influence on dwellers.
First,
music
is a big power that can be used as an instrument for
peoples
Change noun form
people's
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mood
Fix the agreement mistake
moods
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and life.
Music
therapy is widely used in various areas including schools and hospitals as well.
Second,
lots of sportspeople around the world use
music
successfully to boost their performance.
Third,
music
strengthens learning and memory. Those who learn with positive
music
can memorize information more easily than those who don’t listen to
music
.
However
, there are
also
negative sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
phenomenon. First and foremost, individuals especially, the youth tend to waste time because of listening to
music
a lot.
Music
lovers have a lack of focus and concentration.
That is
why listening to
music
too much causes regrets about missed opportunities.
Secondly
, some
music
motivates
people
to live on their own.
This
may impact their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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negatively, making them more selfish and arrogant.
Thirdly
, some types of
music
are harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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health.
For instance
, rock
music
increases blood pressure, so it is not liked by old
people
.
To sum up
, from my view and from my personal experience I would say, it is acceptable to listen to classical or positive
music
before bed or in the morning for adults. As for kids,
music
can be used as an instrument for their development and education.
People
should control everything they
Submitted by dias-90-a on

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task response
Ensure that your essay has an explicit thesis statement outlining the main discussion points about the advantages and disadvantages of being a music lover. This will guide the reader and give your essay a clearer focus.
task response
Develop your conclusion further to provide a more satisfying closure to the essay. Restate your main points and your personal stance on the topic succinctly to reinforce your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas more effectively by having a clear topic sentence for each paragraph, which makes the main idea of the paragraph evident immediately.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the cohesion of your essay by using linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas within paragraphs and between them, enhancing the overall flow.
task response
Include more specific examples and evidence for each point you make. This will strengthen your arguments and help the reader understand the real-world implications of being a music lover.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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