Nowadays young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities. Why does this happen? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

#people #homes #areas #study #work #cities #happen #development

In the present times, youth prefer to leave their urban areas to move into big cities for education

as well as

for careers.

Although

this

may hurt a person in the short term, it allows them to create huge opportunities for their future, and I believe

this

advantage far outweighs the potential disadvantage. Making

this

choice may hurt a person in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

short period. Take,

for example

, students who move to the capitals of their countries to get a better education, they are usually struggling with assimilation from their relatives and birthplace,

due to

the completely new society surrounding them. If they relocate to the wanted place,

consequently

, they can rely on their dreams and hopes, and they may face the short-term downside of losing the comfort their parents provide. The same can be true of making a career, change that involves a potential big pay cut and problems with finding a perfect job at first.

However

, I do not think, that a short-term sacrifice should be seen as a major disadvantage

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because it can be a pay-off in the long run. On the positive side,

this

development brings chances.

For instance

, if my grandparents had not been brave enough to move to the capital of my country, my mom would not have had the opportunity to study at the best university , let alone become the greatest psychologist in my country. If my grandparents had not made

this

decision to create a better life, it could have probably been anyone else, rather than my mother in

this

position. So, I think that possibilities like

this

are extremely essential because they can be life-changing. In conclusion,

although

leaving your birthplace is hard, I strongly believe, that the advantage, like an enormous number of life-changing opportunities, greatly outweighs

this

not-so-significant potential disadvantage.

Submitted by katiakardash07 on Wed Jan 31 2024

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Introduction

Ensure introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. The essay has a suitable introduction but could provide clearer outlines on both advantages and disadvantages.

Body Paragraphs

Make certain that each body paragraph has a clear main idea, which is supported by specific examples or explanations. Several paragraphs discuss ideas but without strong or specific examples to support them.

Conclusion

Properly develop your conclusion to provide a summarized viewpoint that reflects the content of your essay, emphasizing the comparison between advantages and disadvantages.

Cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs, making sure they are not overused or repetitive.

Coherence

Paragraphs should be logically ordered and ideas should flow naturally from one to the next, with clear, focused topic sentences for each paragraph.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities. Why does this happen? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

“many adults today still cannot read or write. in what ways are they disadvantaged?

Students should be allowed to choose academic courses or practical courses, e.g carpenters. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some culutres,childern are often told that they can acheive anthing if they try hard enough. what are the advantage and disadvantage on giving childern this message ?

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media _rich society.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+