In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

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In many parts of the world, the quantity of fauna and flora has been decreasing
due to
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industrialization, which can be addressed by high taxes and heavy punishment. It is vital to understand that the key factor contributing to environmental degradation is the industrial process. In order to develop industry, humans have to exploit natural resources
as well as
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release various poisonous chemicals and pollutants.
As a result
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, green lands will be polluted
while
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numerous species might become endangered and end up with extinction.
Moreover
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,
this
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phenomenon
also
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results in various pollution,
such
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as air and water pollution, which has adverse impacts on people’s health, causing severe diseases,
for instance
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, cancer or plague.
Thus
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, industrialization plays a crucial role in the ecosystem’s destruction.
However
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,
this
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problematic situation can be solved by implementing high taxes and heavy punishment.
This
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is because of the fact that individuals usually avoid being fined as it takes a huge amount of money and reduces their reputation, which is not beneficial, especially for businessmen.
In addition
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, these strategies
also
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help governments to have extra finance which can be used for future campaigns to recover ecosystems.
Consequently
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, most factories will try to clean their waste properly and tend to produce eco-friendly products.
Thereby
Rephrase
Therefore
show examples
, having strict grounds and taxation will solve the pressing matter. Taking all into consideration, the fall of animals and plants’ amount is caused by industrialization, which can be dealt with by taxes and punishment.
Hence
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, governments should implement regulations seriously so as to protect the endangered environment.

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task achievement
You have clearly identified the main reasons and provided a solution, which is very good. However, adding specific examples with more details could improve your Task Response score.
coherence cohesion
To enhance Coherence and Cohesion, consider using a mix of linking phrases and signposting to guide the reader through your argument. This will help to improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
You have effectively presented both the causes and solutions, which shows good comprehension of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for structuring your argument.
coherence cohesion
The ideas were logically sequenced, making it easier for the reader to follow your points.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • agricultural expansion
  • pollution control
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable practices
  • overexploitation
  • invasive species
  • conservation
  • quarantine measures
  • eradication programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • natural habitats
  • species decline
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