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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the number of people who visited different museums in London during different months in 2015.

The bar chart below shows the number of people who visited different museums in London during different months in 2015.
#bar #people #museums #london #months
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The bar chart depicts a
four-different
Correct your spelling
different
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museum
Use synonyms
 visited by people in London over 5 months in 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a peak season in August, followed by September and October.
While
Linking Words
 the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 was
British
Correct article usage
the British
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Museum
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
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 average,
National
Correct article usage
the National
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Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
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 had the least popularity. In June, all of the
Use synonyms
museum
Change to a plural noun
museums
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 had nearly the same
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 around 400.000, except
National
Correct article usage
the National
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Museum
Use synonyms
 with approximately 200.000. By June, there had been no significant increase in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, August was the most popular month to visit
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
museum
Use synonyms
. there was a rapid growth
more
Change preposition
in more
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 than 50 % of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 visiting at British
Museum
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 was followed by
History
Correct article usage
the History
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 with
moderate
Add an article
a moderate
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 rise at about 200.000
visitors
Use synonyms
 compared
from
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
 month. Both Science and National
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 only increase slightly to reach around 400.000 and 310.000, respectively.
Then
Linking Words
, the
personal's
Change noun form
personal
show examples
 interest
to visit
Change preposition
in visiting
show examples
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
museum
Use synonyms
 started to decrease steadily in the next two
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
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 later, reaching
at
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
nearly the same level between June and July.
Submitted by 2024successielts on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, number, visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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