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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many workplaces, online communication is becoming more common than face to face interaction. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the contemporary epoch, there is irrefutable debate among folk about telecommunication
In contrast
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 to the past it is possible to argue that owing to numerous upsides namely saving valuable time and easy access. My perspective is that the merits outweigh the demerits. In
this
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 essay, I am going to examine both edges in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 copious folk who argue that the benefits of online communication in the offices considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The most preponderant is that beyond doubt it makes communication super faster and more convenient across the globe and owners have operated and controlled their business through online meetings.
for instance
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, presently it is not uncommon to interview the aspirants on Skype and Microsoft Teams for the induction process by HR.
In addition
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 to
this
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, there are numerous other benefits in various fields. Thanks to the wide range of advantages it offers, not only does one benefit more when it comes to being effective, but they can enhance productivity and quality of their lives, with much ease, efficacy, and convenience. Needless to say, all these merits stand out in good stead, as far as augmenting the chances of prosperity and excellence is concerned
on the other hand
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, Another pivotal factor in the aforementioned proposition is that it is only likely to help one thrive and excel in varied areas.
Besides
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, when only one follows
such
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 a system, can they broaden their horizons,
hence
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 learning
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
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attributes
such
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 as dedication and perseverance.
As a result
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, it is apparent why myriad is in the patronage of physical interaction. to cite an example, face-to-face communication enhances a person's confidence and transmission skills which are crucial in order to thrive and conquer.
thus
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, the downsides of the stated topic are not undeniable. In a nutshell,
according to
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 the aforementioned quarrels.
Although
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 there are some non-negligible negative impacts of online conversation.
however
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, the festivity or fruitful advantages it beholds in it far outweigh the ill effects.

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task achievement
While your essay addresses the task, giving both the advantages and disadvantages of online communication, it could be more comprehensive by directly addressing the extent to which advantages outweigh disadvantages throughout, rather than primarily in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction that presents the topic and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your position. Keep them distinct and make sure they fulfill their purpose.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure by creating clear and distinct paragraphs for each main point, and use transition words to link ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific, detailed examples. While you have provided some instances, seek to elaborate further to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Check your work for grammatical errors and aim for variety in sentence structures, avoiding overly long and complex sentences that can confuse the reader.
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