IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is better to buy just a expensive few clothes, rather than lots of cheaper clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

#clothes #lots
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Nowadays, there are a lot of
people
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, who prefer to buy expensive
clothes
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 rather than cheaper
clothes
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. Some feel that buying cheaper
clothes
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 is a
waste
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 of
money
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 and
time
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. Buying expensive
clothes
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 will be long lasting forever and it saves
money
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 and
time
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foreach
Correct your spelling
for
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and in the following paragraphs, I will explain
this
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 in detail.
Firstly
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,
people
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 start to buy expensive
clothes
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 nowadays because he or she wants to look elegant.
In other words
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,
people
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 don’t prefer to wear cheaper
clothes
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due to
Linking Words
 various reasons
such
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 as colour fading, getting easily torn and so on. So,
people
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 started to spend more
money
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 on buying
clothes
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 as they didn’t want to
waste
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money
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 on buying cheaper
clothes
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.
For example
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, I used to buy a branded dress which cost more than Rs.3000 and more as it
looks
Wrong verb form
looked
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 pretty and elegant and
it lasts
Wrong verb form
lasted
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 for more than two years. If I buy cheaper
clothes
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its
Correct pronoun usage
my
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life
Correct your spelling
lifetime
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time
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 is six months to one year as it wastes
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money
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 and
time
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 for purchase. I agree wearing expensive
clothes
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 will have
longer
Add an article
a longer
show examples
 life span.
Secondly
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, a lot of
people
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 will not find enough
time
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 to buy expensive
clothes
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 because of their own work pressure. Most business
people
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 buy branded
clothes
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 for their good looks but they do not find
time
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 to visit shops physically to purchase expensive
clothes
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. Working
people
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 give importance to their work and they avoid physical shopping. So, they purchase online as it saves their
money
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 and
time
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.
For example
Linking Words
, many my of friends are working in IT companies, they do online shopping for their branded
clothes
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 as it saves
time
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 for them. They think that physical shopping is a
waste
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 of
time
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. In conclusion, buying expensive
clothes
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 will be long-lasting and buying cheaper
clothes
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 is a
waste
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 of
money
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. I agree with the statement mentioned above. It saves
time
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 for business
people
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 if they choose online shopping and spend their
time
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 on important work.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Task Achievement
Be sure to provide a broader range of examples to support your main points; this adds depth and persuasiveness to your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Aim to vary your sentence structures and use a mix of complex and simple sentences to add fluency to your essay.
Language
Be careful with subject-verb agreements and the use of plural and singular forms in your writing.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you address both sides of the argument to fully respond to the question, even if you have a clear opinion. If the question asks you to discuss both views, ensure you give a balanced analysis before stating your own viewpoint.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the logical structure by using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to clearly connect ideas and paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • long-lasting
  • cost-per-wear
  • economical
  • investing
  • ethical manufacturing
  • transparent
  • exclusivity
  • designs
  • mass-produced
  • accessibility
  • budget
  • fast fashion
  • trends
  • maintenance
  • dry cleaning
  • social status
  • psychological implications
What to do next:
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