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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of retain the table shows where the money came from and the chart show how it was distributed summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons very relevant

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of retain the table shows where the money came from and the chart show how it was distributed summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons very relevant
#information #police #budget #area #money #show #features #comparisons
The chart and table
depicts
Correct subject-verb agreement
depict
show examples
 the information about
share
Add an article
the share
show examples
 of
budget
Add an article
the budget
a budget
show examples
 which was distributed
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct your spelling
particular
particulor
Correct your spelling
particular
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 and
share
Correct article usage
the share
show examples
 of police officials over a
year
 period between 2017 and 2018 after the analysis, it is clearly stated that the source of money for
national
Add an article
the national
a national
show examples
 government, a major department where most money went into, had an almost 2
million
 rise jumping from 175million to 177
million
while
, other sources remained constant over a
year
 period
moreover
, local taxes saw a significant change in their
souce
Correct your spelling
source
 of income rising from 92
million
 to 102
million
 a sudden leap of 10
million
 had been seen in one
year
 time.
consequently
, the total
budget
 for law officials had increased
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 18
million
 expanding from 304
million
 to 318
million
furthermore
, A huge
budget
 had been spent on salaries for office staff and officials but
still
Add a comma
still,
show examples
 a 6% of
drop
Add an article
the drop
show examples
 had been seen from 2017 to 2018 in
Correct your spelling
contrast
constrast
Correct your spelling
contrast
,
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
 spent on technology showed a change in their pattern unlike salaries rising from 8% to 17% almost double of that of
previous
Add an article
the previous
show examples
year
however
, building and transport showed no change on their trend and remained constant over
an
Change the article
a
show examples
year
 consuming 17%
budget
overall
, it is clearly vividly manifested that
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
remained
Verb problem
came
show examples
 first when retaining the
budget
 coming from an area
while
 most
budget
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
show examples
 on providing salaries to law
Correct your spelling
enforcement
enforment
Correct your spelling
enforcement
 and local staff
Submitted by abdulahad08600 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words budget, year, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fiscal
  • allocation
  • revenue
  • government grants
  • taxpayer contributions
  • expenditure
  • financial year
  • budgetary changes
  • capital investment
  • operational costs
  • shift in priorities
  • percentile changes
  • incremental increase/decrease
  • funded
  • allocated
  • resources
  • budgeting decisions
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